Erotic Life of ThunderClan: Fire and Nice Rack
by Siontix
Summary: Firepaw has now become a warrior, Bluestar has become even more desperate for him, and Tigerclaw is just as angry as ever. Continue the somewhat erotic yet disturbing and disgusting sequel of the Erotic Life of ThunderClan: Into the Heat. (/s/8925928/1/The-Erotic-Life-of-Thunderclan-Into- the-Heat) for first story.
1. Chapter 1

We join our heroes Ash, Brock, Misty, and Pikachu as they leave Goldenrod city, successfully beating the gym leader! "That was fun, only so many more gym leaders to beat until I'm a pokemon master!" said Ash. Brock nodded, "You did good, but you may need to rethink your tactics…perhaps train Pikachu a bit more…" "Pika!" pikachu stated smiling. "Your right Brock…hey Misty, can I have that sandwich now?" asked Ash. Misty stood still, searching her bag for the sandwich, she then noticed it was not there. "Sorry Ash, I think I left it back in gym." she remembered. Ash suddenly started to glare at her, menacingly. "Bitch…did you just…you lost my fucking sandwich!?" Ash yelled. Misty was jaw dropped. "That was our only fucking source of food until we get to the next city! Which is several miles from here! Where the fuck do we get food now Misty!?" Ash yelled. Brock touched his shoulder, "Actually, I'm a pretty good cook I co-" Ash punched him across the face, "Shut up faggot! We are completely and utterly fucked! This adventure is going down the shitter all because this fucking bitch lost my god damn sandwich!" Ash screamed at Misty. "I'm sorry Ash!" she apologized. "Shut up and suck my dick!" Ash demanded.

(Just kidding.)

=Chapter 1=

A New Journey

"Well well well…what do we have here…" a silhouetted cat spoke. Fireheart, Graystripe, and Silverstream was quickly becoming surrounded. "Mouse shit…" Silverstream cussed. "It aint every day yall get a nice she-cat to fuck in the middle of a forest…" another cat muttered. Graystripe stepped in front of Silverstream defensively. "Graystripe let me help!" yelled Fireheart. "No, god forbid you get us in an even bigger mess!" Graystripe responded in a hostile tone. Fireheart sighed, the cats were approaching the three cats, they all revealed their large cocks, they were ready to do every one of these cats.

"So, you might be wondering what's going on here…" Fireheart began to narrate.

"Let me go back to the beginning…it all started the day after Graystripe and me defeated ShadowClan with the help of the rebel cats…"

*At ThunderClan camp*

"Hey queers! Get the fuck over here for a minute!" yelled Tigerclaw. Fireheart pranced over to him, Graystripe tailing him. Fireheart and Graystripe could still not speak, part of their initiation to becoming a Warrior, once it became morning officially they could speak. The two cats sat in front of Tigerclaw, he began to chuckle. "You fucking queers can't speak! That's funny! I'm going to bug the shit out of you until you speak!" said Tigerclaw smiling. Fireheart sighed, "Alright…here's a funny joke I made last night…how many useless Firepaws does it take to make a Tigerclaw?" he asked. Fireheart stared at him obviously not amused. "None, you can't make a Tigerclaw out of stupid she-cats!" he said laughing. "Get ready! Here comes another slinger…what's the difference between a Gaystripe and a squirrel?" Graystripes eyes began to water. "The squirrel has more of a dick then a Gaystripe!" he said chuckling. "That's enough Tigerclaw…" said a clearly horny Bluestar. Tigerclaw looked at her angry, "I'm so funny! I need to become a comedian…" an egotistic Tigerclaw claimed. "Yes…well, it is morning, and you two have officially completed your first warriors task… unfortunately nothing came by for you two to fuck." said Bluestar. Bluestar was hoping an intruder would come so she could watch Fireheart fuck something. Fireheart bowed, "I am honored to be a warrior." said Fireheart. Bluestar continued to stare into his eyes, Graystripe jumped in front of Bluestar interrupting her "moment". "Can we have a new assignment Bluestar?" asked Graystripe excited. "No! Later!" yelled Bluestar. She turned towards Tigerclaw, "Come on Tigerpoo, back to my den for some action…" said Bluestar. Tigerclaw growled, "Whatever…" They walked off, but came across Yellowfang, "Hey Yellowfang, have you discovered a way to turn a cats fur orange yet?" asked Bluestar. Yellowfang nodded negatively, "I have no clue how to do that." she admitted. Tigerclaw hissed, "I don't care what you say Bluestar…you will not paint me orange!" he yelled. Fireheart watched them feeling awkward. "Wonder why she wants to dye Tigerclaw orange…"

"I think I hear the voice of two new warriors!" said a cat approaching from across the camp. The two turned towards the cat, "Hey Fireheart…your girlfriend is coming…" Graystripe joked. "What do you mean I don't want to have anal sex with Sandpaw! She is just an apprentice!" Fireheart yelled. Graystripe shut his eyes, "I uh…never mentioned sex at all…" Sandpaw stood in front of Fireheart, "You look so powerful being a warrior…" Sandpaw stated smiling. Fireheart gleamed happily at her, "Well I do look forward to the day when you bec-" Fireheart was suddenly cock-blocked by Dustpaw. "Wow! You two are warriors! That's badass! Are you going to do dangerous missions now and learn new sex formations?" Dustpaw asked. Before Fireheart could answer, Whistestorm walked over with a stern look on his face, "Sandpaw, Dustpaw, go fuck some prey…" The two nodded and went to the fresh kill pile. Graystripe looked at the fresh kill pile, "Hell, I could go for some fuck time…"

The two cats stood at the fresh kill pile, and Graystripe had already began fucking a dead squirrel. "Come on Fireheart fuck your food." said Graystripe. Fireheart stood in front of the lifeless animal, but he still couldn't bring himself to fuck it, he just didn't have control over his dick like the others. "I'm not horny…" said Fireheart walking away. Fireheart walked over to his den, Graystripe eventually joined in as they both prepared to sleep for the day. Fireheart fell into a slumber quickly…

Fireheart was standing around an unreal looking forest, the sky was blinding white, the trees pitch black, and only one cat was in the camp, the cat approached him. It was Spottedleaf. "Spottedleaf?" asked Fireheart. Spottedleaf approached him, then smiled; knocking him on his back. "Spo-Spottedlead…what are you doing?" asked Fireheart. "Fire hot sex will save the clan!" she then began sucking off Firehearts cock. "Spottedleaf…this is pretty hot!" he yelled grinning. "Fire hot sex will save the clan…" she repeated. He exploded inside of her mouth, "Let me get a piece of that nice ass!" said Fireheart preparing to penetrate her.

"Wake the fuck up!" yelled Tigerclaw. Fireheart woke up, "What is it?" he moaned. "Fireheart…you were mewing in your sleep…and you just cummed all over the floor!" yelled Tigerclaw. Fireheart looked down at the ground, "I don't see any cum what do you mean?" asked Fireheart. "I already licked it up…you owe me because Blu-" suddenly Bluestar dashed into the den. "Is it true!? Fireheart cummed? Where? Show me? I need to lick his cum up!" she panicked. "Too late, I already licked it up." Tigerclaw gloated. Bluestar stared at him for several seconds, "Throw up…" she demanded. Tigerclaw suddenly widened his eyes, "What?" he shouted. "Puke god damnit! I NEED HIS CUM!"

TO BE CONTINUED. (sorry that was a sick ending XD)


	2. Chapter 2

Fireheart and Graystripe were sleeping together, Tigerclaw and Bluestar were watching them sleep from Bluestar's den. "Tigerclaw…I need Fireheart inside of me." Bluestar said sadly. Tigerclaw sighed, "I don't fucking get it…you can literally tell him to come to your den, then have him clean your hole by demand. You ARE the leader afterall…you do it to me all the fucking time!" Tigerclaw yelled. Bluestar continued gazing at Fireheart, "It's not that simple…our first romantic night of sex needs to be real!" she responded frantic. Tigerclaw looked at her half shut eyes, "But…what you have me do to you EVERY DAY is very real…" he stated. Bluestar looked at him. "You have literally stripped the honor of sex from me Bluestar…do you not get the message! You're a fucking bag! I get more of a thrill fucking a mouse smaller than my dick! Do you understand? I have a bigger cock than Fireheart! Why do you credit him so much, and why do you take out this fucking sexual anger on me!" he yelled. Bluestar nodded, "Tigerclaw…" she muttered. Tigerclaw stood still waiting for her response. Bluestar was giving him a look of seriousness, "Have I ever had sex with Whitestorm yet?" she asked with a joyous smile on her face. Tigerclaw shut his eyes, "No…". "Great! Go get Whitestorm and meet me in the den, time to smoke some sausage!" Bluestar said excited.

=Chapter 2=

The Transaction

Fireheart and Graystripe were talking outside of their den when suddenly Tigerclaw walked up, "You two queers…Bluestars den…NOW!" he demanded. "Okay! Great StarClan…" Fireheart muttered. Graystripe and Fireheart walked towards the leader den, when suddenly Sandpaw grabbed Graystripes leg, "No no don't go she will rape you!" she yelled. Graystripe suddenly widened his eyes and yelped. "Fireheart! She's right!" yelled Graystripe. The two began panicking as Fireheart tried breaking them up, "guys guys guys…were not going to get raped…" he assured the two. Graystripe puckered his lip, "-and how do you know?" he asked. Fireheart suddenly widened his eyes, "Shit! Your right! Were all fucked!"

Fireheart and Graystripe eventually came to their senses and approached the den. They stood in front of the enterance, Tigerclaw and Darkstripe was cornering them from behind. "Get in!" yelled Darkstripe. "Yeah queers…are you afraid!?" asked Tigerclaw. Fireheart took a whiff of the air, "Actually, I fear what that odor coming from inside is…" Fireheart admitted. Graystripe took a step in the den, Fireheart was pushed in by Darkstripe. They were surrounded by darkness, they could only see each other slightly. Graystripe stepped on a rotting dead rabbits penis. "Fireheart! I'm scared!" Graystripe yelled. "Hello…" Bluestar greeted. She tried grabbing Fireheart's ass but he jumped away, "What do you want with us Bluestar?" asked Fireheart. Suddenly Tigerclaw walked up behind Bluestar, "You fucking queer bags need to promise to keep this operation a secret…" Tigerclaw demanded. Bluestar nodded. "-and what might this 'operation' be?" asked Graystripe. Bluestar pushed over an object, it was catnip. "Catnip…enough to keep a cat baked for almost seven moons…" said Bluestar. "Damn!" Fireheart shouted. Graystripe jumped at it, "Dude! Do we get to roll in that shit!?" he said excited. "Stupid fool!" said Tigerclaw dick-whipping Graystripe to the ground. "This dope is more expensive than any kits you could ever have!" said Tigerclaw hissing. Bluestar nodded in agreement, "We need you to deliver these goods to RiverClan…" said Bluestar. Fireheart nodden but was confused, "What are we getting out of this?" asked Fireheart. "RiverClan will promise to continue trading small portions of fish with us, and make hunting in WindClan territory to a sexy minimum." Bluestar explained. Fireheart agreed, "We will take on this task as Sexy Warriors." said Fireheart. "Good…but wait, incase the transaction goes badly…take these-" Bluestar pushed over some leaves. "What are those?" asked Graystripe. "Viagra leaves, take some of these; and your dick should be good to go incase they decide to go rogue on us." Bluestar explained. Graystripe nodded, "Very well…let's go Fireheart." Fireheart started walking away, "Aye…" They walked out of the den, off on their adventure. Once they were gone, Tigerclaw turned towards Bluestar. "Do you really think this will work?" he asked. "Definitely, Fireheart will surely use up all that catnip on himself…giving me justification to 'punish' him…all is going according to plan…" the two cats started to laugh evilly.

The two cats later on was nearing the border of RiverClan, "Fireheart…I want this catnip man I can't stand it!" Graystripe yelled. "No Graystripe we can't. It's our mission to deliver the goods!" said Fireheart. The two continued walking, holding the nip in their mouths, Graystripe was shaking while walking, wanting the catnip to himself so badly. The river was insight, and some RiverClan cats were clearly waiting alongside a tree for them across the river. "Okay, the cats are over there, get your viagr-" Fireheart suddenly realized Graystripe was gone, he was back behind him. "Graystripe don't do it!" Fireheart yelled. Graystripe was about to roll around in the catnip, but Fireheart dived into him rolling on him, "Graystripe you can't!" he shouted. "Fuck you Fireheart! I need my drugs! I want the nip!" he yelled biting onto Firehearts leg. Fireheart whipped his face with his dick, "Get a hold of yourself!" he shouted into his face. Graystripe was breathing in and out, getting a grip again. "I-Im sorry…" he muttered sadly. Fireheart shook his head, "Okay, you hold the Viagra, I'll hold all the catnip."

They crossed the river and met up with the RiverClan cats, "Do you have the 'goods'?" a cat asked. Fireheart dropped the catnip, "All here…can we ensure you live up to your part of the deal?" asked Fireheart. The other cat looked at the pack of nip, "Daaamn! Look at all of that shit! Were gonna be cooked for days!" Fireheart nodded, "Definitely, now about the deal…" he asked again. The cat nodded, "You didn't by chance…consume any of the catnip…did you?" the cat asked hostile. Their dicks began to enlarge into boners. Fireheart nodded negatively, "Of course not. It's against the sexy code." The cats dicks began to shrink at the sound of that. "Good…our leader would like to invite you two to our pussy bar as an extra reward." the cat said smiling. "Pussy bar?" asked Graystripe.

"Aw shit yeah!" said Graystripe with a silver and brown fur she-cats ass in his face. They were inside a den with she-cats dancing everywhere. Fireheart was on his back, as a she-cat was jumping around his dick, trying to arouse him. The she-cat wiggled her ass in front of Fireheart. "uuuh…yeah, that's a nice ass you have there miss…" said Fireheart distracted. Graystripe got a boner as the silver furred cat got on her back. Graystripe was smiling looking at her chest, "Wow…are those for real?" he asked aroused. The brown cat was rubbing against his paw, Graystripe was so focused on the silver cat, he hadn't even noticed he had cummed all over her fur. "Oh my god!" the brown she-cat said walking away. "Oops…" Graystripe admitted ashamed. The silver cat smiled and giggled looking into his eyes. Fireheart had gotten a rock hard boner, but had to go. "That was uh…hot…but we need to get back to our own camp…" said Fireheart. "Thanks for coming…" Crookedstar concluded getting three she-cats in his face. Fireheart walked up to him and the silver cat, "Come on Graystripe." said Fireheart. Graystripe nodded and stood up, following him.

The cats eventually returned to ThunderClan camp, Bluestar was peeping through her den door, but alas; the two didn't appear stoned at all. "Damn." she muttered. Graystripe and Fireheart entered her den, "The transaction was sweet Bluestar!" said Graystripe. "Well that's moderately good news…" Bluestar said. Fireheart nodded, "So can we get some rest now?" he asked. "Very well…but be prepared, I have an even more important mission for you tomorrow." said Bluestar. _More important?_ Fireheart asked himself. "Well we'll be seeing you then…" said Fireheart Suddenly he bumped into a wall and a hidden compartment in her den was revealed, the bodies of Spottedleaf and Lionheart fell out of the hole, both bodies clearly fucked over and over again. Fireheart was shivering jaw dropped. "The fuck…my mentor!" Graystripe screamed looking at Lionheart. Tigerclaw walked in, "How the fuck did the transaction go?" he asked. "Jesus fucking shit!" he yelled looking at the bodies. Fireheart vomited over Spottedleaf's body. Bluestar looked away feeling awkward, "What the fuck is wrong with you!?" yelled Fireheart.

TO BE CONTINUED.


	3. Chapter 3

Bluestar was curled up in a ball, perfectly blue silky fur, a cat of beauty laying still enjoying the night. She was in her den, which was perfectly spit clean, it was a beautiful night out. Bluestar slowly opened her eyes, when she saw a cat standing next to her. "Hello?" Bluestar asked innocently. It was Fireheart, and he had a huge magnificent dick, "Hello Bluestar…" he said with a pedophilic voice. Bluestar looked away, "Fireheart…what are you doing here?" she asked confused. Fireheart smiled, Graystripe came around Fireheart. "I cannot resist any longer Bluestar…I need to make love with you…" said Fireheart. Graystripe nodded, "-and I'm here to have the three-way…" said an erotic Graystripe. Bluestar brushed her ears, "Oh Fireheart…we can't….our secret love must remain locked away-" she said smoothly. Fireheart slapped his dick in front of her, "I don't care!" said a grinning Fireheart. Bluestar smiled, "Make love to me Fireheart…"

"Wake up Bluestar…it's morning." yelled Tigerclaw. Bluestar opened her eyes, blood raged, "Why the fuck did you have to ruin such a perfect dream!?" she yelled back.

=Chapter 3=

Oh boy…another Gathering…

"Fireheart, you and Graystripe come with us to the gathering…" said Bluestar. Fireheart remembered how the last gathering had went, it was not as amazing as he thought. Sandpaw ran up, "Can I come?" Bluestar looked at her, "No!" Sandpaw's eyes began to water, Bluestar began to feel pressured, "Shit…okay fine come with…" she said walking away. "Follow me everybody…Tigerclaw finish up fucking your prey…" said Bluestar. Tigerclaw was cumming all over the dead birds ass, "Whatever! I just fucked the shit out of this bird anyways!" Fireheart, Graystripe, and Sandpaw followed Bluestar out of clan, Tigerclaw was rubbing his dick in the grass then followed as well.

The four cats continued down the path to the gathering, they were behind schedule because Bluestar had come across a dead rat with a fairly nice penis along the way. Bluestar was still leading the pack, "Hey guys…wanna hear a funny story?" asked Bluestar. Graystripe smiled, "Yes ma'am! I love jokes." Tigerclaw swatted him, "Shut the fuck up!" he whispered. "Okay okay…so along time ago…I was sitting outside of the camp, and I saw two cats…and it was Brindleface and Redtail…" Sandpaw widened her eyes suddenly, "uh…" "Go on!" said Graystripe excited. "Okay…so Redtail clearly had a boner…and he wanted some of that ass! So when the time was right…Brindleface turned around, and Redtail just nailed that bitch!" said Bluestar chuckling. Sandpaw had a disturbed look on her face, "-and I mean…it was sort of rape…and I should have stopped it, but my paws were busy elsewhere if you catch my drift…anyways…Redtail was fuckign the shit out of Brindleface, she was later enjoying it though…after getting completely pinned to the ground, he cummed all over her pussy!" she yelled. Fireheart and Graystripe looked at each other oddly. "-long story short, he got pussy, and several moons later Sandpaw was born." said Bluestar laughing. Sandpaw gave her an angry expression, "I hate you…" she muttered. "That was fucking hot Bluestar! Tell another!" yelled Tigerclaw.

After awhile of walking, the cats arrived at the gathering, all ShadowClan cats were there, and RiverClan cats gave an almost hostile look at them. "I wonder if they are enjoying the catnip?" asked Fireheart. Bluestar nodded, "Maybe…remember, RiverClan always holds a grudge, but they are nothing but pussies." Bluestar departed to find the other clan leaders, Fireheart and Graystripe jumped in some conversations with other cats. "Hey!" a RiverClan cat yelled at Fireheart. Fireheart turned confused, "That catnip wasn't worth jackshit!" the cat yelled. "What do you mean?" asked Fireheart. The cat spit on his face, " It only left us baked for half a moon!" he yelled. Fireheart nodded, "You would have to leave that issue with Bluestar." The RiverClan cat hissed, "Damn right were gonna bring it up!" The leaders all got on top of their dens, "Cats of all clans! Welcome." said Bluestar. The new ShadowClan leader, Nightpelt, began speaking, "As you may all know…ThunderClan assisted us in ridding our clan of that fag Brokenstar…this was-" as Nightpelt went on, Bluestar was trying to look underneath Nightpelt. _Fuck!_ she thought to herself. _Look at that sack! That thing is small! I can't get fucked by that!" _Bluestar was panicking, the new ShadowClan leader had a small package!

"Bluestar what is your response to that issue?" asked Nightpelt. Bluestar was not paying attention to what he was saying, "Uuuh…err…." she looked at the crowd of cats, observing her. She swallowed, "I believe it would be within our best interests…if we all agreed to simply fuck only that which is needed a good fucking…" said Bluestar. The two leaders looked at her confused, "Eh…alright…but that is irrelevant to the missing WindClan issue…" said Nightpelt. "Oh yes WindClan…well, I think we need to find them and restore the missing clan of dicks to the forest." said Bluestar. "Fuck that! WindClan territory has some of the best pussy in the forest!" yelled Crookedstar. "Crookedstar shut the fuck up I'm talking." demanded Bluestar. "Fuck off!" he angrily responded. _Oooh!_ Bluestar thought aroused. "Well Crookedstar…please don't stick a dick up my ass while I'm not looking!" Bluestar hinted. Crookedstar gazed at her ass, "Not a chance."

The meeting was coming to an end but an agreement was not yet reached, "Okay okay…we can't fuck the prey of the territory…because then WindClan won't get anything to fuck!" yelled Bluestar. "For the fourth time…FUCK YOUR FACE" yelled Crookedstar. "Look, we need to keep our opinions to ourselves! We all agree that Bluestar is a whore right?" Nightpelt asked the crowd of cats. The entire crowd was meowing in agreement, "Wow! Fuck you all!" said Bluestar. Bluestar looked at Crookedstar, "Well he bought Catnip off of us! That's against the Sexy Code!" said Bluestar. The crowd agreed to this as well. "Alright alright! Let's just agree…your both just awful…" said Nightpelt. Bluestar turned at him angered, "Fuck you! Were bringing WindClan back! And if you show your sexy cocks in their territory we will put sexy sanctions on you!" Bluestar demanded. Nightpelt got a boner suddenly, "Wow…a total milf is raising her tone at me!" Bluestar suddenly grinned, but then remembered he had a small dick. "This meeting is over…" said Bluestar walking off the stage. Crookedstar watched her walk away, the ThunderClan cats following her. "Bitch."

Later on back at camp, everyone had finished fucking their prey. Fireheart was brave enough to enter her den alone, "Bluestar?" he asked. Bluestar jolted up, "Oh my god! You're here! Alone! What do you want!" asked an excited Bluestar. Fireheart looked at her feeling guilty, "I have something to tell you…" said Fireheart. Bluestar dropped her jaw surprised. "It's about time…" said Bluestar. "Tigerclaw raped Redtail…" said Fireheart. Bluestar suddenly looked displeased, "Oh?" Fireheart nodded, "Ravenpaw told me…he saw everything, were hiding him at Barleys…" Fireheart admitted. Bluestar got a look of anger, "Bullshit! How dare you discredit a fellow clan warrior! -and you drove a nice black dick out of our camp! What is wrong with you?" yelled Bluestar. Fireheart felt his testacles drop, as he began to sweat, "Well…Tigerclaw wanted to kill him….so we had to hide him….you have to believe me Bluestar! I would never lie about something this severe! Tigerclaw is not who you think he is, he is our enemy!" said a concerned Fireheart. "That's enough shit out of you Fireheart! The only way I will believe you is if you have sex with me…which I know your not willing to do…right?" she asked. Fireheart stood still, "I apologize for bothering you then…" said an angered Fireheart. Bluestar closed her eyes, "Even so….we should keep Ravenpaw hidden…the damage has been done and bringing him back now would only cause sexy complications…" Fireheart nodded, then walked out of the den, going towards Fireheart.

Little did he know, Tigerclaw was watching him exit the den, he gave an intimidating stare down the back of Firehearts head, "You mother fucker…" he muttered. "Tigerclaw! Get in here! I got Spottedleaf's dead body in a real sexy position!" said an excited Bluestar. Tigerclaw closed his eyes and frowned.

TO BE CONTINUED.


	4. Chapter 4

Bluestar was a young kit, trying to sleep in her den. She was sound asleep, her parents were in the other room. "I can't believe you Stormtail! You never cease to amaze me…once again, you come home with no food, and you are high on catnip…again!" yelled Moonflower. "Bitch! Shut up…I'll do what I want…I, am the male cat of this relationship…and I- I can do whatever I want….ye' fat bitch…" said a slurred Stormtail. Moonflower gasped, "How dare you! You are setting a bad example for our little angel Bluekit!" said a concerned Moonflower. Stormtail chuckled, "Shad' up! Don't make me beat ye' again!" he said with one eye shutting. Moonflower shook her head, "Please…no more violence…" she begged. Stormtail raised his tail, then collapsed onto the ground, "Oh StarClan…let me go get some herbs for you!" said Moonflower running out the den. Suddenly Stormtail lifted himself up again, and walked towards Bluekits section of the den. He stepped inside and stood in front of a sleeping Bluekit. Bluekit awoke, "Father? Is everything okay?" she asked. Stormtail stood still chuckling, "girl…I'm gonna do something to you yall' will never forget…" he said with a slurred voice. Bluekit opened her eyes and saw Stormtail had a huge boner. "What the-" Stormtail got on top of Bluekit and laid his dick on her fur. "I'm gonna make you feel like a princess girl" said Stormtail. Bluekit was shaking, "But- I don't like sex!" she said frantic. Stormtail rolled her over and prepared to penetrate her…

"Bluestar!" yelled Fireheart. Bluestar suddenly looked up at him, "What's wrong with you? You look like you just saw a ghost…" asked Fireheart, Graystripe was standing next to him. Bluestar shook away the past memory and got a smile on her face, "Just got lost in thought… now let's get down to sexy business…"

=Chapter 4=

Find WindClan…?

"You may be wondering why I called you two in today…" said Bluestar. Fireheart stood firmly, Graystripe's legs began to shake constantly, "W-Why did you?" asked Graystripe. "As you may know…WindClan is missing…and both clans want it to stay that way." Graystripe withdrew his breath, "-and were going to go find them finally?" asked Fireheart. "No, you two, will go find them alone" said Bluestar. Graystripe puckered his eyes, "So…rather than sending multiple experienced warriors, your going to send your freshest batch…two cats, with the risk of being hunted down by two other clans, in a far away area with unknown threats and twolegs?" asked Graystripe. Bluestar smiled, "Yes" Fireheart stood still, "Okay." Bluestar shook her ass at the two, walking towards a wall. She put her paw on the wall, "Pretend we are here…WindClan territory is over…here…and Fireheart's nice ass is….here…" Graystripe laughed, "Okay…" Bluestar continued, "You two will go to WindClan camp, and look for fresh WindClan cum, tell if it is fresh then, use that as a lead to where they went, no doubt you will then find a trail of cum leading to where they are." Bluestar concluded. Fireheart nodded, "Sounds…good" he said. "Your sexy mission begins now…you will not return to camp tonight, so make sure to find shelter along the way, preferably secreted enough incase you two want to…you know…play around a little." said Bluestar. Fireheart slapped his eyes shut, "Bluestar…we are not gay!" he said upset. "Yeah, but you're bisexual" said Bluestar. "No…I'm as straight as Tigerclaw's slick dick" said Fireheart. Bluestar widened her eyes, "Hey now…if you see Tigerclaw send him into my den…" said Bluestar. Fireheart grinned evily, "Sure will!" The two cats left the den, "Graystripe wait!" yelled Bluestar. He turned around, Bluestar was on her back stretched, "I seem to have accidentally left a trail of catnip going down my body…mind if you…lick it off?" asked Bluestar with an erotic face. Graystripe was staring at the catnip…it looked so addicting. Graystripe lifted a paw towards her, "Graystripe come on!" yelled Fireheart. Graystripe shook his head and left the den. Bluestar crossed her eyes at Fireheart who was walking far away from the den already, "You bastard…when the day finally comes, I am going hardcore on you…" whispered Bluestar.

Fireheart and Graystripe stopped in front of the fresh kill pile, "How much prey should we bring along to fuck?" asked Graystripe. Fireheart shook his head, "We'll find food along the way to have intercourse with…just leave it for the elders…" said Fireheart. Graystripe looked at him, "But would Bluestar approve of us taking even more of WindClan's prey?" Atop of Bluestar's den, Tigerclaw stood, watching them… "Those fucking queers are going to ruin everything! WindClan has the best prey to fuck in the forest! I can't let those queers succeed in their mission…" hissed Tigerclaw. He leaped down in front of the Bluestar's den enterance, "I'll just follow them as soon as they leave and sabotage their progress…" he said grinning. "Tiger! Get in here…this catnip won't lick itself!" said Bluestar. Tigerclaw got a droopy face, _I'll do that as soon as I tame that ugly ass! _Tigerclaw said to himself. "Ready to go?" asked Fireheart. "Yep" Graystripe responded. Sandpaw ran up to them, "Can I come too? It will likely improve my chances of becoming a warrior" Fireheart nodded, "Sure! Like I always say, the more the merrier!" he said excited. Dustpaw ran over, "Can I come?" he asked. "…No!" Fireheart responded.

The three cats had already traveled to WindClan territory, but found nothing along the way. "No cats appear to be near at all…" said Graystripe. Fireheart nodded, "I thought this place was always packed with horny cats" Sandpaw stopped, "Don't fuck your chickens yet Fireheart! I smell Shadowclan cats incoming up the hill!" Fireheart looked around quickly, he saw two areas to hide at, a fallen tree with it's leaves covering a hole, or a small uncovered trench. "Get in that trench!" he yelled. The three cats jumped in the trench, then awaited for the Shadowclan cats. "I'm scared…" said Sandpaw. "Graystripe….calm down!" said Fireheart. Graystripe gave him a pissed look. Suddenly two ShadowClan cats appeared, a tom and a she-cat. "Boy…it sure is a nice day huh?" the tom stated. "For sure…for sure…" she said smiling. He looked down at the ground, "Umm…Prickleheart…I wanted….to ask you something…" he said nervously. The she-cat looked at him with sparkling eyes, "I just…well you know…we knew each other since we were kits….and I've always felt that you and me…" the she-cat grinned. "I- I love you…" he admitted. The she-cat was smiling with watering eyes, "Oh StarClan I've been in love with you forever!" Fireheart was smiling, it was such a joyous scene. The two cats nuzzled each other, the tom knocked her down with a huge boner, "aaw yeah…! I'm gonna fucking rip that ass of yours apart!" the she-cat had an evil looking smile on her face, "Yeah! Yeah! Go and fuck me to shreds!" she demanded. Fireheart suddenly was jaw dropped, he heard a tapping noise. "Graystripe…stop masturbating" Graystripe looked at Fireheart, "I'm not!" The two looked at Sandpaw, she looked confused then gave a hostile look, "What the Hell!? I don't even have a dick!" she yelled. Fireheart shook his head, "Hell…it's probably nothing…" The two cats were poudning each other, little did the three cats know, on the other side of the trench was Tigerclaw, masturbating to the max.

After a long wait, the tom cummed all over the she-cats pussy. "That was pretty tight!" the tom said walking away with her. The three cats finally got up, "Alright, search the area for cum…" said Fireheart. Immediately Graystripe jumped up, "I found some!" Fireheart turned his head towards him, "Graystripe….that was from the Tom…that was just here…" he said annoyed. "Ah…makes sense" said Graystripe. The three cats searched the area, Sandpaw entered the abandoned leaders den, but found no cum. She looked at the corner and saw a lot of fucked fish. "Why would Tallstar have so much fish?" she asked herself out loud. Graystripe looked inside of the medicine den for some catnip, he could suddenly smell some, he approached the apparent catnip, but saw nothing there. "Damn, licked clean…" he muttered. Fireheart finally went near a bush and found some cum, he bent over and prepared to lick it, but then felt sick, "Hey Sandpaw get over here!" he yelled. Sandpaw sprinted towards him, Graystripe also came. "Lick that cum!" he demanded. Sandpaw licked the ground clean instantly, "It's WindClan…but this must have been here for ages…" Fireheart nodded, "Any idea where they went?" Sandpaw tasted it a bit more, "Umm…this can't be right…" she muttered. The two waited for her response, "If this is correct…then the cats left the area going towards ShadowClan more…" Fireheart sighed, "Well…I'm sure they will let us go if they catch us, we did just save them after all…" said Fireheart. Graystripe smiled, "Well c'mon! let's go!" he said excited. The cats began moving towards ShadowClan territory, Tigerclaw popped up out of nowhere behind them. "Fucking ShadowClan huh? That gives me a fucking idea!" he muttered smiling.

Fireheart found himself standing in the middle of an ocean, he was walking on water! "Woah!" he said scared. He couldn't fall though, he was standing on the water perfectly as if it were ground. "How am I-" "Fire hot sex will save the clan!" said an approaching Spottedleaf. Fireheart looked shocked, but then got a maniacal grin on his face, "Damn right!" he shouted. He jumped on his back, "Now suck me!" he yelled excited.

"Fireheart! We need to get moving!" said Yellowfang. The three cats had found shelter for the night, "It's morning, let's go find WindClan…" The cats exited the hole they found shelter in, they already managed to pass ShadowClan territory, but Sandpaw claims the location of WindClan is even farther beyond. "Sandpaw…you must be mistaken…there isn't an animal to be fucked out in this area, they would have all died of horniness by now!" said Graystripe. "Shut up" demanded Sandpaw. Fireheart continued moving forward while the two bickered, he smelt the air. "No…she is right Graystripe…" Graystripe moved up by him, "What do you me-" he suddenly got a disgruntled look on his face. "For fucks sakes! What is that smell!?" he asked. Sandpaw shared a disgusted look, "It's WindClan alright!" said Graystripe. Sandpaw shut her eyes, "Great StarClan! It smells like they all shit in a pile…then had sex with it, then vomited on it all at once!" Sandpaw complained. The cats scanned the area for the trace of the smell, and eventually could tell the scent was coming from a hole. Sandpaw nodded, "They're underground…" she proclaimed. Fireheart nodded with a serious face and entered the hole, Graystripe followed, with Sandpaw tailing. Fireheart took mere steps before stepping into something squishy. _Please don't be a pile of shit…_ Fireheart thought. It was a very old rotting racoon he stepped in, "Oh thank StarClan…" he said relieved. Suddenly two cats tackled him, "Stop!" the cat demanded. The cats were really boney and were barely able to keep Fireheart down. "Alright alright we give up!" said Graystripe on Firehearts behalf. "Give us a reason not to slaughter this pig!" the cat demanded. "Fireheart is merely searching for you guys so we can bring you back!" the cats widened their eyes suddenly. "Did you just say…'Fireheart'?" the cat asked. "Yes yes! I'm Fireheart!" They let him go and he got up, "How do you know my name? You've been missing for several moons" asked Fireheart. The cats shook their heads and signaled them to follow, they followed them down a tunnel, stepping on more rotting fucked bodies. "Sorry bout' the mess…it's been awhile since we had any fresh kill…" said the pack leader. "Eh…no problem…" said Fireheart. (None of the following is anything like the actual story) Suddenly they entered a large area, where all of WindClan was residing, starving for some pussy. There he was, a very dirty looking Tallstar, "Who is this….cat!" he demanded. The cat leading them whispered into his ear, "Ah…so this is the Fireheart we have heard so much about…tell me, did you reunify the forest under one clan yet?" Fireheart looked confused, "-the Hell are you talking about?" he asked. The cats looked disappointed, "I see…I guess we will truly die here then…" said Tallstar. Fireheart shook his head negatively, "Were here to bring you back to camp!" said Fireheart. Tallstar brushed his head, "We cannot go back…" Graystripe walked up to Tallstar, "No way! Getting here took forever!" he complained. Sandpaw budded inbetween the two, "-and why might this be?" she asked. Tallstar had water in his eyes, "We wish we could go back to our erotic life…but this must mean that the evil one has not yet been defeated, which means we cannot return…" Fireheart looked angry, "We can protect you from Sh- no…we defeated ShadowClan! It is literally okay, I defeated the evil one along with my friend Graystripe!" said Fireheart. Tallstar shook his head, "No…not Brokenstar…and we did not leave because of intimidation…" said Tallstar. The three cats looked shocked, "Then why the Hell did you run away from the forest to this shithole!?" demanded Fireheart. Tallstar stared him in the eyes, "Our medicine cat had a vision…a very clear image…it showed the forest burning, all clans in all out warfare with eachother…all because of one cat, a cat of evil…dark with eyes that glow red from the blaze of fire surrounding the forest, with the largest dick a cat has ever had…" Tallstar looked up at the amazed three ThunderClan cats. "This dark cats name, is Deathclaw"

TO BE CONTINUED. (Yep, a somewhat serious end…somewhat….)

(Deathclaw is a fictional character, nowhere in the real story)


	5. Chapter 5

Yellowfang walked out of the medicine den and stretched, she saw Bluestar walking out of her den as well. "Tigerclaw!" Bluestar shouted. After several moments of silence Bluestar got an angry look on her face, "Tigerclaw get your sexy ass in my den!" Yellowfang walked towards her, "I saw Tigerclaw leave the camp last morning" she said dipping her head. "What? Well fuck me…" Bluestar said disappointed. After a few moments of thinking she looked up, "Oh well…I suppose I could go for some pussy on pussy action…" Bluestar stepped forward, "Sandpaw! Get the Hell in my den!" she yelled. Again, no response came, "What the fuck is this shit?" Bluestar growled. Yellowfang began to walk away quietly, "Hey! Get your ass back here!" yelled Bluestar. Yellowfang looked Bluestar in the eyes, "Please don't go…I'm so lonely…" said Bluestar. Yellowfang looked away, "Well…I already had my daily orgasm so…" Bluestar shook her head negatively, "No no no…no sex, just- we should hang out, talk, you know…what two girls would do with each other non-sexually" Bluestar said looking sad. Yellowfang felt strange, _Hang out?_ she thought to herself. Yellowfang returned a smile, "Yeah…that would be great…" said Yellowfang. Yellowfang sat next to Bluestar, "So? What should we talk about?" asked Yellowfang. Bluestar was smiling at her, Yellowfang nodded. "What was the biggest cat you ever got boned by!?" Bluestar shouted breaking the silence. Yellowfang sighed.

=Chapter 5=

Back to the forest…

"Deathclaw? Isn't that name a bit…far-fetched? I mean who would name a kit such a thing…" said Fireheart laughing this story off. Tallstar stared at him, "The story is a bit murky…only our medicine Barkface can give you the entire story, but he is very sick, he hasn't had sex with anything for several moons" Tallstar said sadly. "How does this story involve Fireheart?" asked Graystripe. Tallstar brushed his head, "I've already said enough, you three need to leave, we will likely need to relocate now that our secret area has been uncovered-" Fireheart whipped Tallstars face with his dick knocking him down. "Damnit! Our mission is to find you! -and we have! -you must not get it yet, were here to save you, we want to protect you from now on!" Fireheart yelled angry. Tallstar simply stood back up, "A mighty dick you have there…all we know is that Barkfaces vision was as clear as the sky…and returning to the forest will only bring this fate onto us for sure" WindClan cats began to swarm Fireheart, to prevent another attack. "Escort our guests out of the area, we will be leaving next thing in the morning" ordered Tallstar. The other cats moaned, "You're making a mistake! You're assuming this all because of a simple dream!" yelled Fireheart. Tallstar did not respond, as the cats dragged him away, as a last resort Fireheart prepared an unauthorized proposal. "If you come back we will offer catnip for five moons and a quarter of our prey!" yelled Fireheart. The cats stopped dragging him and looked back at Tallstar. "Bullshit…this is a lie" Tallstar remarked. "Oh yeah? Well why the Hell would we want to rape all of your frilled asses? You're all so beat up, we have nothing to gain out of the raping of your clan!" Fireheart responded. Tallstar shut his eyes and nodded, he stood still for a few moments before ultimately making a decision. "If we gain any raped cats on the way back, we are heading straight back here…" said Tallstar. Fireheart smiled and all of the cats began cheering.

Tallstar and all of WindClan began moving, Fireheart and his two friends followed. "I need to lead the clan, you stay back and scan the area for hostile cats…if you see anything tell my deputy quickly…" said Tallstar. Fireheart nodded, "Great, who is your deputy?" he asked. "His name is Deaddick, you'll recognize him when you see him" said Tallstar.

The cats had been moving for a while now, the Thunderpath was just ahead of them. Fireheart sniffed the air, and could smell something, just before he reported this…"Twolegs!" a cat yelled. "Where?" another cat yelled. Tallstar stood still, "No…the twolegs must have already been here…" he assured everyone. The cats momentarily brushed this fear off and continued. All of the cats entered the tunnel going under the Thunderpath, all but Deaddick. "Are you com- holy shit!" yelled Fireheart. It was deaddick, his dick was so small and dry looking, he must have never even gotten sucked before! "We WindClan cats like to be able to see where were going!" he said hostile. Fireheart was distracted on his penis, it was so scary! "Fireheart come on!" yelled Graystripe. Fireheart raised his mouth and continued across the tunnel. Suddenly all of the WindClan cats stampeded out of the tunnel afraid, "What's wrong!?" yelled Fireheart. "We can't go in there! It's dark in there!" yelled Tallstar with huge beaming eyes. Fireheart sighed, "StarClan help us all…" The Thunderpath was crowded with nonstop monsters. "Okay…if we play this right, we should be able to slip right in between the monsters" said Fireheart. They waited for all of the loud monsters to go away, when the path was clear, they all ran at once. They were only half way through when they heard a loud sounding monster coming. This was a banged up on, it was driving right towards them at great speed, and it had a symbol on the front. (Confederate flag) "StarClan…that monster is trying to kill us!" yelled Tallstar.

Inside of the monster were two two-legs wearing caps with confederate flags on them, "Scooper! Look! Pussers!" he yelled. The cats were all in the middle of the road, "Yall are right Tim! Them pussers are in the dang road!" the other two-leg jumped up, "Come on Scooper! Run over them pussers!" the two-legs hit the gas and drove quickly towards the cats. "Yeeeee-haw!" they yelled. Fireheart was staring at their imminent doom, the monster was clearly going to run them over! "Were fucked!" he yelled ducking down. All of the cats dived down on the road awaiting their doom, the monster suddenly drove right over them, but luckily did not actually hit any of them. Fireheart opened his eyes shaking, the monster drove right over them! The cats hurried across the road to safety. "Damnit Scooper! Yall missed them pussers!" the other two-leg looked at him, "Don' you worry Tim, we'll get them pussers yet!" he said reassuring.

The cats had continued walking, the journey was nearly complete, but was still far from over, and it began to rain. "Tallstar, I think we should shelter for the night…" recommended Fireheart. Tallstar nodded, "I agree" suddenly something fell out of a tree, it was a rabbit, and it was fat as hell! Tallstar's jaw dropped, "Shit…" he remarked. "WindClan don't go fo-" he yelled but it was too late, over fifteen cats had already rushed towards the rabbit at once. The rabbits eyes got really large at the massive amount of rushing cats. All of a sudden every cat dived into a pile and began fucking the rabbits lights out. They were all taking turns, it didn't even matter what gender the rabbit was, an ass was an ass. Tallstar sighed, "They've become animals…" Graystripe bounced up, "Actually we are anim-" "Graystripe shut up!" yelled Fireheart. Fireheart sniffed the air, Graystripe did as well, "I know that smell…" Graystripe muttered. "Ravenpaw!" they both shouted. Sandpaw walked over, "Isn't he dead?" she asked. The two suddenly looked at each other, "oops…"

The cats approached Barley's, ready to finally see their old friend again. "I can't believe you two are hiding Ravenpaw!" Sandpaw shouted. Fireheart simply turned at her, "Bitch, please" Suddenly Barley came around the corner hearing voices, he jumped in joy. "Well howdy yall!" he said excited. Fireheart nodded, "Hello Barley" he greeted. "You know this fool!?" yelled Deaddick. Barley looked at his penis, "Well that's the dang cutest thing I ever saw!" he remarked. "Is Ravenpaw around?" asked Graystripe. "Hell yeeeeah, he and me have been having so much fun, we've been making up romance stories every since you left him here and, well long story short, we were just balling at this one story about two-" "Damnit can we see him?" asked Fireheart. Ravenpaw came up from behind suddenly, "Who is it?" he asked Barley. He gave Fireheart a stare, "Ravenpaw!" he said excited. "Where the Hell have you been!? Are you ever planning on taking me back with you?" he asked angrily. Fireheart looked away feeling awkward, "Oh yeah…well…" Ravenpaw shook his head, "Do you even plan on taking me back? Is anyone concerned where I am?" he asked frantically. Fireheart shut his eyes and smiled, "Oh of course! Everyone at camp misses you so much!"

*Meanwhile*

Yellowfang walked up to Bluestar, "Hey…who was that one black cat we use to have in our camp?" she asked. Bluestar shrugged, "Don't know, don't care."

*A while later*

All of WindClan was sleeping, but Fireheart was up with Barley and Ravenpaw, "So where is this other guest?" asked Fireheart. Barley smiled, "Just hold on sweetie, he'll be here soon and we can get this game going!" said Barley. Suddenly Smudge walked in the barn, "Wassup yall mother fucking Smudge is in the house with the shit!" Smudge walked in holding a bunch of catnip. "There he is!" said Ravenpaw. Fireheart said nothing, but was intrigued. "Alright boys…what are we betting today?" asked Barley. Smudge shook his head, "Whoeva' da' fuck crashes first has to bring da' fuckin' nip next time!" said Smudge. He placed the catnip in front of everyone, "Ma' sexy boys, dig in!" said Smudge. The cats began consuming the catnip, and Fireheart immediately started seeing strange things. "What the…holy shit…" he said zoning out. The room started turning purple, Ravenpaw's tongue was swirling out of control, Smudge's entire body began to twist several feet into the air like a noodle, Barley remained the same.

The next morning Fireheart woke up, Smudge was gone, and Barley and Ravenpaw was still sleeping. Fireheart's eyes were still red, he was still cooked! "Oh shit…" he muttered. "Fireheart! Let's go!" said Tallstar. Fireheart got on his feet but was shaking too much, "Gotch'a" he said uneasily. The cats continued walking to WindClan, Deaddick was standing still shaking looking into the sky. "What's wrong?" asked Graystripe. Deaddick looked at him and Fireheart, "The clouds are stained with blood!" he yelled. The two looked at each other confused, "It is a sign from our sexy ancestors…there is trouble ahead…" "Damn right there is!" an unknown voice yelled. The cats looked down, Fireheart recognized the cat speaking, it was the cat that tried to rape him and Ravenpaw at the Thunderpath long ago with a friend. "Yall are a pretty orange cat, and were here to finish what we started!" said the rogue, he had several cats backing him up with huge boners. "Shit…" muttered Fireheart. _How did they find us! Someone must have led them to us…_thought Fireheart. "Get ready to get fucked!" Fireheart and Graystripe enlarged their dicks, Deaddick looked down and sighed. "Come on Deaddick! Get a boner already!" yelled Graystripe. A tear dropped from his face, "I-I cannot…my dick…it is dead…" he said disappointed. Fireheart gasped. The rogues were laughing, when suddenly the rogue was blown to pieces, blood went everywhere. The cats all stared at the pile of blood, nothing was left of the rouge. "What the fuck?" Fireheart muttered confused. Suddenly Tallstar hissed, it was twolegs, and they were holding large tubular looking things, two barrels. "I gottem Scooper! I got the pusser!" yelled the two-leg. The other two-leg walked up, "Well don't tell me Tim! We gotta get them pussers!" he said cocking his shotgun. Fireheart looked at Graystripe, "I don't speak Twoleg…but something makes me think they want us dead."

TO BE CONTINUED!


	6. Chapter 6

Fireheart and Graystripe were off to school, they were two 17 year old teenagers, Fireheart was a blonde with hair covering one eye, he wore an orange hoodie. Graystripe was wearing a gray hoodie with messy black hair. "Dude…i'm scared that I might flunk Geometry B" Graystripe said concerned. "It's not that hard Graystripe, you just don't take any notes…" said Fireheart. "I don't know man…if I take notes I can never underst-" Fireheart grabbed his arm. "Oh shit…" it was a teenager in a black hoodie and black pants leaning against a tree, he had dark black dyed hair covering one eye. "It's Tigerclaw!" Graystripe muttered. Tigerclaw grinned leaning against the tree, "Yo…queers!" he said approaching the two. Fireheart grinned, "Come on man…we're not looking for a fight…" Fireheart begged. Tigerclaw grabbed Firehearts collar, "Well you got trouble! I'm gonna beat the shit out of you faggots!" Tigerclaw began punching Fireheart in the stomach. Fireheart fell to the ground as Tigerclaw continued kicking him, "Eat my shoe faggot" said Tigerclaw kicking his mouth. "Stop it Tigerclaw!" yelled an approaching whore. It was a girl with too much makeup, a lot of cleavage, and skimpy clothes. "Bluestar! What do you want?" asked Tigerclaw. Bluestar's watermelons whacked Graystripe onto the ground. "Stop beating up Fireheart you jerk!" Tigerclaw prepared to kick Fireheart's crotch. "-or your not getting my nice tits on Friday!" Tigerclaw released Fireheart, _Damnit…I need those tits! _Tigerclaw walked away. A blonde girl in a white sweatshirt and short-shorts ran up to Fireheart and grabbed him, "Sandstorm?" Fireheart muttered. "We need to bring you to the nurse!" Sandstorm shouted. Fireheart had blood running down his nose, "No Sandstorm…I need to lose my virginity to Bluestar…" he coughed. "Okay!" yelled a suddenly naked Bluestar.

"Bluestar…a story about us as twolegs? Get real…" said Yellowfang. "Shut up it's good!" yelled Bluestar.

=Chapter 6=

Rednecks!

"Well looky' here Scooper! That there gray pusser be pissin' himself!" Graystripe was urinating on the ground in fear. "Shit…we need to get out of here!" yelled Fireheart. "Come on! Let's get out of here!" yelled Deaddick. All at once every WindClan cat ran alongside Fireheart and Graystripe. They were running down the hill quickly away from the twolegs, "Em' pussers getting away!" yelled a twoleg. They began charging towards the cats shooting into the air like idiots. "What the Hell are they holding!?" yelled a running Fireheart. "No clue! But you saw what that object did to that one cat!" responded Graystripe. The twolegs were firing at the cats and were barely missing, gun shells were flying towards the cats. "WindClan territory is still a bit away, we will need to hide somewhere!" yelled Tallstar. The twolegs were starting to fall behind, "Them pussers can really run…" said a panting twoleg. "Keep chasin' them pussers Tim! I'll go git' the truck!" he responded. One twoleg departed away from the other, but one was still chasing them. "One is retreating! Keep running!" yelled Tallstar. Suddenly the twoleg shot Deaddicks tail straight off his body. "Aaaah shit!" he screeched. "Are you okay!?" yelled Fireheart. Deaddick was still running, "Yeah…just got my fucking tail destroyed, but no problem here" he said sarcastically. The twoleg picked up his tail and put it in a bag, "Yeehaw!" he yelled.

The cats had been running for about five minutes and the two leg was still chasing them, "When the fuck will he give up!" yelled Tallstar. Suddenly the twoleg stopped chasing them and disappeared. Fireheart stopped, "Wait guys…we lost them!" he said excited. Everyone stopped and began to celebrate, when suddenly a roaring noise could be heard, with a banging noise. A bright light was coming towards them quickly, "Oh…my….fucking-" suddenly the twolegs were coming at them inside of a monster, it was driving right through the forest! "Run!" he yelled again. The monster was coming after them, they were both shooting at the cats from the sides of the truck. "Get back here pussers!" one yelled. "Fireheart! If we keep on going, were going to run right into ThunderClan camp!" yelled Graystripe. He was right, and he certainly could not let them reach the camp, the kits and elders wouldn't stand a chance. "Maneuver around trees! Certainly they can't get around trees!" yelled Fireheart. The cats zig zagged tree to tree avoiding the monster. The monster however, simply ran into all of the trees, knocking them over. "Holy shit!" yelled Tallstar. "Damnit Scooper! Yall are gonna mess up the trucks hood!" the twoleg smiled, "I got myself' an idea!" the twoleg held up a can of Mountain Dew and threw it at Deaddick, it got all over his fur and was now sticky. "Aaah! Shit!" yelled Deaddick. "Deaddick! Are you okay!?" yelled Fireheart. "oh, yeah, swell, I'm just missing a tail and am all sticky!" he yelled sarcastically. "Damnit Scooper! That there's God's elixir whatch'yall doin' throwing it at them no good pussers!?" he yelled.

The truck was still chasing the cats, and the cats were beginning to run out of breath, "ThunderClan territory just up ahead, were done for!" yelled Graystripe. Fireheart growled, the twoleg shot his shotgun at Fireheart, but the bullets spread out and hit both Deaddick's ears instead. "Oh shit!" Deaddick screamed. "Deaddick! Are you okay!?" yelled Fireheart. Deaddick looked at him, "What?" he asked back. ThunderClan camp was now in sight, it was over, when suddenly a miracle happened. A cat jumped in front of the crowd of cats, a golden-deep gold tabby with stripes and emerald green eyes emerged in a combat stance, and she was really pretty. "Don't worry guys, I'm here to help!" yelled the she-cat. Fireheart looked at her, "Uh….hey….you…" he said confused. Graystripe got a boner, "Who are you?" he asked. "Falconclaw? You know…there are other cats in the camp…the world doesn't revolve around just you two…" (except it does.) she said pissed. Fireheart smiled awkwardly, "Yeah yeah! Falconclaw! Help us Falconclaw!" Falconclaw leaped onto the hood of the truck looking at the twolegs. The twolegs looked at each other, "That there's a purdy' pusser!" he yelled. "Damnit Tim! Don't yall become a no good furry! Shoot that pusser!" Falconclaw jumped into the truck and stood on the 16 pack of beer and Mountain Dew, the twoleg aimed the gun at her and fired, but she leaped away, but the beer and Mountain Dew was destroyed! She leaped out of the truck and regrouped. "What did that do!?" yelled Graystripe. "Trust me!" she yelled. The twolegs were panicking, "Scooper! Our Mountain Dew and Beer! What are we gonna do Scoops!" the twoleg wiped his sweat off of his forehead, "Don't ask me! We gotta go git' some more Beer and Mountain Dew!" "But Scooper…the pussers!" he yelled. The other twoleg sighed, "We aint' through with them yet….we'll be back…" the twoleg looked out the window, "Hear that pussers! We're gonna be back ya hear!?" he yelled. They drove off shooting their guns into the air, "We did it!" yelled Tallstar. "Alright…then you should be able to return to camp, good luck!" said Fireheart. Tallstar nodded, "Very well…we are within your debt" said Tallstar. Deaddick was a bloody mess, no tail, sticky, and no ears. "Is he going to be okay?" asked Graystripe. Tallstar laughed, "Yeah…don't worry…it's funny, now we can call him 'Dead everything' " Everyone began to laugh as they walked back to each others camps. "Thanks for helping us Falconclaw…" said Fireheart walking with her. Sandpaw ran in front of the two, "Yep…we did it" said a clearly upset Sandpaw. Graystripe looked at Falconclaw, "Wait…have you been punished by Bluestar yet?" asked Graystripe. Falconclaw looked confused, "Ummm….no…."

Bluestar suddenly emerged smiling, "Sandpaw! Tigerclaw! Falconclaw! In my den now!" Fireheart and Graystripe looked at the two, "ooooooh….." Tigerclaw suddenly popped up out of nowhere, "Well wasn't that a fucking fun adventure we had!?" yelled Tigerclaw. Fireheart looked at him, "You were- you were following us!?"

TO BE CONTINUED!


	7. Chapter 7 part 1

Mousefur was walking alone out of camp at night, she saw a squirrel with a nice dick and began charging at it. The squirrel retaliated and ran up a tree in desperation for survival, Mousefur tried climbing it but she didn't have the nerve to climb such a tall tree. "Damnit" she muttered. She looked up into the air and saw something falling from the sky at incredible speed, it had a bright green glow around it. "What the Hell is that?" she asked aloud. The object finally crashed into the ground a bit away from her, an explosion erupted and lit up the area. "Holy shit!" she panicked running towards the object. She could see the crater it landed in, and she looked around checking for other cats, but she was all alone. She hesitantly moved towards the object and looked down the crater. She could not believe what she saw, it was a giant metal disc shaped object with a glass dome on top, it was shattered however. "Oh StarClan!" she yelled. Mousefur leaped onto the metal disc and walked up to the shattered dome, upon looking inside a shock erupted within her body, she was not alone. A dead body lay inside the disc, it was a Tom, but it had no fur, had gray skin, and shiny black eyes. Surrounding the body was a bunch of flickering lights and words that she could not understand. "I need to tell all the clans about this!" she yelled.

Mousefur's news only made it to Bluestar, and Bluestar requested the other clan leaders do a surprise private gathering, along with Mousefur. Bluestar, Nightstar, Tallstar, and Crookedstar stood motionless with a serious face looking at Mousefur. "It was huge and the alien inside of it was dead I swear!" she yelled at the four cats. Crookedstar with a serious face said, "It is not a UFO, it is a bird…". Mousefur looked confused, "What? It's not a bird! It's nothing like a bird!" she yelled. "Mousefur, you must have been delusional…it was indeed just a bird…we have moved the bird to a secret location…" said Bluestar motionless. Mousefur shook her head negatively, "It's bullshit! It's a UFO! Why are you guys saying it is a bir-" "Mousefur, return to camp, get some rest…you seem to be very confused…" said Bluestar. Mousefur had an angered face, but nodded and walked away. The four leaders continued sitting still, Crookedstar's eyes glowed green suddenly and he looked at Bluestar. "Bluestar…" he muttered. Bluestar's eyes glowed blue, "Don't worry…I will deal with her…" she responded.

-the next morning-

"Cats of ThunderClan…Mousefur will no longer be with us, she drowned last night…" said Bluestar.

=Chapter 7=

The big race! -and some cats get apprentices

"Fireheart! Wake the fuck up!" yelled Tigerclaw punching him with his got knocked a few inches, "God damn! That's like getting hit by a stick!" yelled Fireheart. Tigerclaw grinned, "Good! Our supreme leader wants you!" Fireheart shook his head, "I know she wants me…" Tigerclaw stomped his paw, "Fuck! I'm not talking about that! She wants to see you!" he yelled. An elder walked over to Tigerclaw, "Knock off that racket!" the female elder lectured. Tigerclaw swirled around, "Shut up old bitch!" the elder was appalled and walked away. Fireheart looked at Tigerclaw, "Okay…better see what she wants" Fireheart walked out of the den and saw Bluestar waiting for him. "Oh boy…" he muttered walking over. Bluestar smiled deviously, "Hello…" Fireheart looked away, "You requested me?" Bluestar nodded, "It's almost time for the Warriors Clan Prix and I thought you-" Fireheart looked confused, "What is the Clan Prix?" Bluestar looked shocked, "Okay well…every 30 moons, clans compete in a race, winner receives massive prestige amongst the other clans, it's mostly all for fun, but it was a tradition established before the founding of anal sex" Fireheart nodded, "Is it fun?" he asked. Bluestar nodded negatively, "Hell no…it sucks, there's no sex during the race and everyone is so distracted, no body will even volunteer to lick your 'flower' " Fireheart stuck his tongue out, "Ew…" Bluestar shut her eyes, "Anyways…I was wondering if you know any fast cats in our clan that can represent our clan?" Fireheart thought for a moment, "Graystripe?" he asked. "Ew. No." Bluestar commented coldly. Fireheart thought for a moment, "Hold on…I have another cat" said Fireheart walking away.

Sandpaw was stretching around thinking, in her den, "So if the average diameter of a cats penis is 1.5 to 2 inches…then the basic pussy shou-" Fireheart approached her, "Sandpaw…" he requested. "What is it Fireheart, I'm working out some equations for Yellowfang…" she responded. "I was wondering…are you a fast cat?" he asked. Sandpaw thought for a moment, "Well…I was easily outrunning you guys at the Thunderpath the other day…and Tigerclaw commented saying I am good on my paws" Fireheart dropped his jaw, "wait…you mean? …Tigerclaw respected you?" he asked amazed. "Yes" she responded. "Well damn! Let's just change the chapter right now"

=Chapter 7=

Tigerclaw respects someone

(Not really.)

"So do you think you could represent our clan in the Clan Prix?" asked Fireheart. Sandpaw looked nervous, "Oh…uh…sweet penis…" she looked at the ground, "What's wrong?" asked Fireheart. "My dad…he- he raced for the clan once…" she gulped, "He wiped out near the end when the traps were laid out" Fireheart widened his eyes, "traps?" he asked afraid. "Yes…some stereotypical German racer laid very attractive prey on the track…my father fell victim for the traps and went to fuck them…" she said holding in tears. Fireheart nodded, "I see…I understand then if you decline the offer…" he said respectively. "Damnit no! I intend on racing my heart out if I am represent the clan!" yelled Sandpaw. Fireheart grinned, "Excellent…I will tell Bluestar that you are on board" said Fireheart walking out. Sandpaw nodded, then continued doing her equations.

All the cats were surrounding Bluestar for some reason, Fireheart jumped in unaware of this clan meeting. "Cats of ThunderClan! After having se- talks with Tigerclaw…we have determined that it would be within my- our best interests if we get more cocks in the clan faster!" Bluestar said sweating. All the cats began talking amongst each other, "Cats of ThunderClan! Shut the hell up and listen…we have come to the conclusion that we need more apprentices flowing in…so we are going to appoint apprentices to warriors now…" Fireheart looked shocked, suddenly he walked up to the front of the crowd. A little gray kit was dancing around excited, "This little bitch from today, will be known as Cinderpaw" said Bluestar. "Aw yeah! Can I have the dick now!?" Cinderpaw yelled excited. "In time sexy one! You will be appointed to the hottest cat in our clan…Fireheart." said Bluestar. Fireheart's chest began to beat, he was so excited. "Teach Cinderpaw the ways of the Sexy code…teach her what I have taught you…train her with sexy honor…" said Bluestar. Fireheart nodded, Bluestar got her perverted face on, "and now for the important kit…" she said looking down at a male ginger. "From today, you will be known as Brackenpaw…you will be trained by Graystripe, Graystripe, I expect you to not only train your apprentice, but fondle his dick as well…" said Bluestar. Graystripe smiled and licked Brackenpaw's testicles in appreciation. _Shit…I should have done the same to Cinderpaw…_ Fireheart thought. He suddenly attempted to lick Cinderpaw's genital but failed awkwardly. Cinderpaw suddenly understood what he was trying to do and made her self more open, but Fireheart had already embarrassed himself enough. Bluestar was smiling looking at them, "Awesome…" she muttered distracted. Fireheart sighed, _I bet Tigerclaw is just watching me…waiting for me to fail…_ "I'm just watching him Darkstripe…waiting for him to fail!" Tigerclaw said to Darkstripe. "Fireheart did you find a racer for our clan?" asked Bluestar. Everyone looked at Fireheart, "I found that Sandpaw is very quick on her feet, and would work well as a racer" said Fireheart. "Bullshit! She's a fucking nerd!" yelled Tigerclaw. "…so much for respect…" Sandpaw muttered. "Shut the fuck up Tigerclaw!" Fireheart yelled angrily. Everyone looked at the two cats "oooooOOOOOOOH!" they all hummed. "That's it…you and me…flagpole…three o'clock…" Tigerclaw threatened. Fireheart looked puzzled, "what?" he asked confused. "Just…get the fuck away from me!" he yelled running. Everyone was silent, "Dude! He just owned Tigerclaw!" yelled Bluestar.

ThunderClan a few days later had begun traveling to the Gathering territory, ThunderClan camp was completely abandoned for the day as every cat wanted to experience the race first hand. Tigerclaw accompanied Bluestar, "Are you sure this is the right cat were betting on? I mean…were talking about a she-cat doing this!" he yelled at Bluestar. Bluestar looked at him angry, "Your point?" she asked. "She's a she-cat! Why wouldn't we send in a superior tom!" he yelled. Bluestar knocked him to the ground, "You sexy sexist animal…" she said angered. Fireheart and Graystripe was laughing at Tigerclaw, "Doesn't it seem like Tigerclaw is becoming less threatening by the day?" asked Fireheart. "He seems like it, but don't forget, were forgetting that this is the cat that tore Redtail's ass to shreds with his dick" said Graystripe. Fireheart nodded, "I know…" Sandpaw was ahead of everyone, she must indeed be a fast cat. Fireheart ran up to her, "Are you prepared to do this?" asked Fireheart. Sandpaw looked upset, "I wish to redeem the glory my father should have gotten, if it weren't for that cheating bastard" Fireheart nodded, "I apologize for dragging you into this…" said Fireheart. "Whatever…" she muttered.

The cats all made it to the gathering, it was packed with much more cats than usual, mainly because every clan cat in the forest was here. Bluestar approached the leaders who were already standing together. "Sorry I'm late…there was a dead vole along the way and like…you know, who wouldn't take that opportunity for sex right?" the three other leaders were staring at her, "Yeah she has a point…" said Tallstar. The four cats gather together, "Cats of all clans…welcome to Clan Prix IV!" yelled Bluestar. All the cats began cheering, Bluestar sighed, _This _will_ be one boring, dickless race… _"At this time we will announce all cats representing their clans!" yelled Crookedstar. The cats became silent, "Of my clan, RiverClan, we have chosen Silverstream to run!" RiverClan cats began cheering as she made her way to the front, bowing once she made it. "ShadowClan chose Wetfoot to race!" ShadowClan cats howeled as Wetfoot ran up to the front aside Silverstream. "ThunderClan has chosen Sandpaw, an apprentice…as their runner" Crookedstar said confused. The smaller cat ran up and stood aside Wetfoot, Wetfoot looked at her, "Girl…you look fine today…" his dick was beginning to nudge, disturbed, Sandpaw walked over by Silverstream. "Lastly, the newly revived WindClan has chosen Deaddick!" the cat with no ears, tail, and a limp dick walked up by Wetfoot. Wetfoot looked at him, "Boy…you look fine today…" Deaddick looked at him, "Can't hear you!" he shouted. Crookedstar stepped back, "We have a kitty pet who is racing as well…"said Bluestar. Smudge walked up to the front, then signaled a cat to follow him, "Yeah that's right yo, I be choosin' bitchcat to race for the Kittypets yo!" he yelled. A spayed she-cat walked up by Deaddick, she was shaking in fear. Bluestar shook her head negatively at the two kittypets, _They have no clue what sex is really like…_ "Alright! That means we can proc-" "Not so fast…" a mysterious Germanic voice interrupted. Sandpaw instantly knew who this was. The cats moved aside as a grinning, large, black and white cat came moving up the tow. "Ja…I am here representing the rogues of the forest…" said the cat. Tigerclaw hissed, Fireheart looked at him, "Who is that?" he asked. "That's fucking Kriegclaw! -an ex-RiverClan cat…he defeated us in the Clan Prix twice…and fucking rumor has it that he has raced in other forests in the past!" yelled Tigerclaw. Sandpaw looked pissed at him, Bluestar spoke with the other three leaders, then looked at him, "We welcome a surprise racer, Kriegclaw…making an attempt for a third win of this forest" Sandpaw spit in front of him, "Oh I know that scent anywhere…you are the daughter of the ThunderClan cat I beat twice…" Kriegclaw stated. Sandpaw shook her head, "Your winning streak ends here faggot…" she muttered. "Oh come now mein frau-cat…I always win in the end…"he said chuckling. He walked away chuckling, Sandpaw was grinding her teeth in anger.

A while later the cats all gather for instruction of the course, "Alright…we start outside of RiverClan territory, you will run until you reach the Thunderpath, you will then take the tunnel underneath it behind the Thunderpath, run down the side of the Thunderpath to the other tunnel, come through that…through the twoleg place…and finally a long run through the forest back to the gathering…" said Bluestar. The cats all nodded, after which some racers went for preparations, and some headed straight to the starting line. Sandpaw went with Silverstream to the starting line. Fireheart and Graystripe was watching Kriegclaw, "I don't trust that guy…" said Fireheart. Graystripe looked at him, "Why?" Fireheart looked at him angrily, "Just look at him…he's your basic stereotype German racer…" said Fireheart. Kriegclaw was holding a Viagra leaf in his mouth and bumped into the two cats, "Out of my way Dummkopf!" he yelled at Fireheart. Fireheart growled but then noticed the leaf, "Wait…why would he be taking Viagra before a race? That will just be adding on extra weight during the race…" said Fireheart.

The race was about to begin and Fireheart and Graystripe sat together watching the racers at the starting line. "This should be interesting…" muttered Graystripe. Suddenly Kriegclaw appeared with the Viagra leaf in his mouth still. Graystripe looked at him still confused, "He still hasn't used it…what is he…" suddenly the two noticed something. He didn't intend on using it for himself… Kriegclaw was walking towards Sandpaw with it. Fireheart's eyes widened, "Sandpaw no!" he shouted. Kriegclaw walked up to Sandpaw and dropped the leaf in front of her, "Here frau…I thought it would make things more interesting if you had this energy boost leaf…" he said. Sandpaw looked at him, trying to figure him out, but ended up eating the leaf. "Thanks…" she muttered confused. Fireheart was trying to run towards her but it was too late…she ate the Viagra leaf. Fireheart gasped, "Graystripe…this is a trap…to ensure that Sandpaw doesn't make it past his trap!" Graystripe looked at him scared, "Trap?" "Near the end…he's doing it again! He laid sexy prey out on the track! -and she is stuck on Viagra!" Fireheart yelled. Graystripe suddenly understood it all. Kriegclaw took his position, "heheheheh…." he chuckled. "Sexy cats! On your mark…get set…race!" yelled Crookedstar. The race started and everyone went at each other on the track.

Fireheart and Graystripe were the only one who saw the upcoming trap, he knew this could not end well.

TO BE CONTINUED!


	8. Chapter 7 part 2

=Part 2=

The cats were sprinting quickly, and immediately they were out of the area. "Graystripe…Sandpaw is doomed!" he yelled. Graystripe closed his eyes, "Maybe Kriegclaw will wipe out himself…" A gray cat walked up to them, "Unlikely…" he stated. The two cats turned towards him, it was a gray cat, with blue eyes and black stripes on his tail. "Kriegclaw has never had a she-cat to fuck before, he certainly won't start now" he said with a serious face. "Who are you?" asked Fireheart. The cat nodded, "I'm just a pal of his…" he said smirking. The cats looked at the track, Sandpaw had fallen behind slightly, the cats had already left the gathering zone and was going near the Thunderpath. Kriegclaw appeared to be rushing through the race without a struggle, the others were tailing him. Cinderpaw ran over to Fireheart, "Fireheart when do we get to train?" she asked. Fireheart looked at her, "Oh…I guess whenever we get back to camp and prey is around the area…" Cinderpaw hopped, "Yeah yeah when do I get to try and fuck you?" she yelled excitedly. Fireheart was beaming, he felt someone breathing over his neck, it was Bluestar. "Yeah…when are…you gonna do that?" she asked anxiously. Crookedstar looked up from the stands, "Bluestar! Get the hell back here!" Bluestar looked pissed and went back up by the other leaders.

Deaddick was catching up on Kriegclaw, "-it would appear that WindClan deputy Deaddick is gaining on the ace, Kriegclaw!" yelled Crookedstar to the crowd. Deaddick was sprinting to the side of Kriegclaw, when suddenly Kriegclaw grinned and rammed him. "Oh! And Deaddick is spinning out of control!" shouted Crookedstar. Deaddick started on fire and was smoking, "Deaddick is critically damaged!" Deaddick crashed and exploded, his pit crew ran onto the track. (Just kidding.) Deaddick fell over and fell asleep. Tallstar shook his head negatively, Bluestar was staring at Tallstar. _If I don't get sex soon I'm gonna lose it!_ Bluestar was wiggling around biting her lip. Crookedstar looked at her, "-and what are you doing?" he asked in a hostile tone. Bluestar looked at him, "If you must know…I'm imagining getting pleased by four Tom's all at once…" she said up in his face. Crookedstar growled, "You just want to have sex don't you!" he yelled. Bluestar looked appalled, "No! no, I can't believe you would even say that…" she said looking nervous.

Sandpaw caught up with Kriegclaw again, they passed the Thunderpath and were now running towards the Thunderpath, Kriegclaw looked behind him looking at an approaching Silverstream and Sandpaw, he growled, "Scheiße…why don't they give up…" he suddenly began chuckling, "No matter…I will get them yet…" Fireheart was walking around the area, trying to hear who was winning, as the cats were not in sight from the gathering area. Darkstripe was walking around as well, "Hey…do you know who's winning?" asked Fireheart. Darkstripe turned his head, "Where's Tigerclaw?" he asked. Fireheart shrugged, "Don't know, don't care" he said walking away. Graystripe was going near the RiverClan cats, "Hey guys" he greeted. The RiverClan cats turned with their dicks out, "Go away…this is our fish!" they yelled. Graystripe stood still, " I don't want to have sex with your fish, just want to see what you're doing" he explained. The RiverClan cat nodded, "I see…well we're just taking turns fucking this fish we saved" the cat admitted. Graystripe looked confused, "Isn't that against the Sexy Code?" he asked. The RiverClan cat shrugged, "How the Hell would I know, no one really cares about that shit" Graystripe nodded, "Who is the cat your clan is representing in the race?" he asked. The cat stood still, dick away, "That's Silverstream, she is one confusing bitch…" the cat muttered. Graystripe smiled, "Does she like it rough!?" he asked excited. The cat shrugged, "No clue…pretty sure she is a virgin, she works at the pussy bar" Graystripe started thinking, "Hmm…that gives me an idea…" he muttered nodding.

Sandpaw and Silverstream were neck and neck, Sandpaw was about to pass her when suddenly images flashed in her head, the idea of Kriegclaw having sex with Silverstream began entering her mind. "Gah…" she muttered following behind. Sandpaw was stuck having erotic thoughts, "Why am I so horny right now?" she asked herself running back up to Silverstream. The cats had entered the Twoleg place, but there was a problem, a cat was waiting nearby. Kriegclaw rushed past the cat, but was looking at Silverstream, "Well howdy there…how about you come inside and hang out with me and my buddy Ravenpaw?" he asked. Silverstream was stuck, Barley was in the way, "Go on without me!" she yelled to Sandpaw. Silverstream still was trying to get around Barley, "Comeone silly kitty…we gotta lot of fun things to do inside! Like telling romantic stories!" he said excited. Silverstream stopped, she grinned, "Actually that sounds fun…"

Sandpaw was trying to catch up to Kriegclaw, and was nearly neck and neck, it was now just a long run to the finish. Sandpaw felt a throbbing feeling inside of her, she had the urge to jump Kriegclaw and take him around the world. She was obviously in distress, but still keeping her ground on the race. Kriegclaw chuckled at her struggle, "Wunderbar…" Fireheart and Graystripe was secretly trying to find the trap on the track, but could not find it. "Damnit Graystripe…we're nearly out of time!" he yelled afraid. Sandpaw and Kriegclaw were coming up on a bunch of things in the middle of the track, it was a bunch of perfectly placed opened dead rabbits. But something was wrong, a big gap of the rabbits were missing, "Was zur Hell!?" Kriegclaw yelled shocked.

Tigerclaw and Bluestar were dragging the rabbits away with them, "Why the fuck are you not up by the other leaders anyways?" yelled Tigerclaw. Bluestar smiled, "They all mutually agreed that I should get out of there…I think some sex time will solve everything…" said Bluestar.

The trap failed, and Sandpaw was still tailing him just barely. Kriegclaw was getting nervous, but was still running, suddenly he was tackled. Sandpaw tackled him, bit his dick, then leaped in front of him still running. She was laughing, "Nein!" he yelled trying to catch up. Wetfoot ran into him knocking him down again, "Sorry!" he yelled. Kriegclaw and Sandpaw came sprinting back to the gathering, but Sandpaw had clearly won. Kriegclaw ran in second place, Wetfoot in third. "I did it!" yelled Sandpaw. All the ThunderClan cats surrounded Sandpaw cheering, Kriegclaw stared her down angered, a bunch of she-cats were dashing towards him. "Oh well…still get the she-cats!" he said gloriously. The she-cats ran past him and surrounded his gray friend. Kriegclaw sighed, "Scheiße…"

It was later that day that Sandpaw walked towards the crowd of cats near Bluestar back at camp. Bluestar was looking at her face, "Sandpaw…since you brought pride to our clan for the first time, and stuck it up Crookedstar's ass…it is with honor…that I present you with your new title…" said Bluestar. Sandpaw nodded, "From this day on…you will be known as Sandstorm…I expect you to fuck all that you can from here on out…and don't fuck Fireheart…he's mine…bitch." said Bluestar. The cats all cheered as Sandstorm had joined the warriors officially, Tigerclaw was staring down Fireheart for some reason. "The Hell what am I even doing!?" he muttered.

-Meanwhile…-

"-So I was like…I'm not taking that from you if you aren't even going to take the time to groom yourself…I mean…why should I have to do that if she isn't even going to do half the work?" Silverstream was discussing. Barley and Ravenpaw were laying down bored, "-yeah so me and my girlfriends on that note…were walking and talking about boys one day when I noticed that these flowers would look really good around her…so then we were-" Barley looked at Ravenpaw, "Let's not invite girls here anymore…" Barley whispered.

TO BE CONTINUED!


	9. Chapter 8

Rusty was with Smudge down in the basement, they were just young kits barely able to walk. Smudge walked over to the stairs leading upstairs, "Come on bro" Rusty pranced over to him and went up stairs. "Are you sure about this Smudge?" Rusty asked. Smudge nodded, "Yeah I got my sources right fo' sure" the two kits came around the corner, a twoleg was standing in the kitchen making a meal. "When our owner walks out the door…we go" said Smudge. The twoleg walked out into the living room, Smudge waited until the area was completely secured. "Okay go!" Smudge and Rusty ran over to the wall, then snuck by the bathroom. Rusty stopped running, "This is too much Smudge…go on without me…" he said panting. Smudge whipped around, "No bro come on man we don't leave a man behind!" yelled Smudge. Rusty nodded, and followed Smudge to the end of the bathroom into the bedroom. Smudge stopped and was shaking, "What the-" Smudge stopped shaking. A small black and white kit was laying on the bedroom floor, "Buttercup!" yelled Rusty running over to him. Buttercup was laying shaking slightly, he coughed. "Buttercup what did they do to you!?" yelled Rusty. Buttercup turned his head, "Rusty…Smudge…get out of here…before it's too late…hurry….go to the wild…" he said quietly. Smudge went around and looked at Buttercups ass, "Butter-bro! What in Hell happened to your balls!" yelled Smudge. Buttercup dropped a tear, "My balls…they cut them off! They took my fucking balls! Rusty…run while you still can!" yelled Buttercup. Rusty looked at him water in his eyes.

Fireheart was standing aside a puddle, looking at his reflection, he spun around and looked at his balls in his reflection. "I'm so sorry Smudge…" Suddenly snow began falling from the sky.

=Chapter 8=

The Chapter Many Have Been Waiting For…

"Where are you going Graystripe?" asked Fireheart. Graystripe stood still suspiciously, "Oh…I'm just going to go for a walk…" Fireheart did not believe him, but had no reason to stop him. "Yeah okay…see'ya" Fireheart bid. Fireheart stood outside not knowing what to do, "Wow…I'm kind of bored, I could go for some kind of thrill…" he muttered to himself. He was looking at Bluestar's den and the Medicine Cat den, _Either one of these dens will present me with some screwed up adventure I'm sure…_ Fireheart began walking towards Bluestar's den. Bluestar was watching him secretly from inside her den. "Yes, yes, yes, yes…come closer…clooooooser…." she said aloud. Suddenly Yellowfang walked outside of the den, "Hey Fireheart come in here I need some help" she requested. "Okay" Fireheart responded now moving towards the Medicine den. "No!" Bluestar yelled. Bluestar jumped outside, "Fireheart no! come over here I have something more important to talk about!" yelled Bluestar. Fireheart turned at Bluestar, "Well she is the leader…" he now began walking towards her. Yellowfang bit her lip, "I need you now it's a matter of life or death!" yelled Yellowfang. Fireheart began moving towards her, "Well we don't want death obvi-" Bluestar jumped, "No! I need you over here now! It's a matter of RiverClan attacking!" yelled Bluestar. Fireheart turned towards her again, "Err…well that it quite serious so…" Yellowfang leaped up at his face, "Come to the Medicine den! We need to have a very serious talk that cannot wait or we may lose our entire herd of cats!" she yelled. Bluestar leaped up behind Fireheart, "Come to my den I will let you lick my area!" yelled Bluestar. Yellowfang rammed into her face, "He doesn't want to lick that saggy-" the two cats began bickering amongst each other loudly. "You're not even able to have a mate stupid medicine whore!" yelled Bluestar. "-and you have like six vaginal infections!" yelled Yellowfang. Fireheart slowly began walking away, "Ladies…" he said leaving.

Fireheart was taking a walk out in the forest since the camp was out of control, the weather was much colder, and occasional snowflakes would drop. Fireheart was moving towards the RiverClan territory, but had no intentions of actually going into the territory. Fireheart was trying to think, _Why me? Why do they want my dick?_ he sighed. _I mean Tigerclaw has a nice dick, and he loves sex so why-_ Fireheart's thought was interrupted when he saw a raped rabbit laying on the ground. It was raped… Fireheart walked up to the cum on the ground, Sandstorm was not here this time, but he needed to figure out who did this. Fireheart looked at the cum, he shut his eyes and dipped his head slowly. Fireheart licked the cum shaking, he swished it around then spit it out and vomited. "Oh jesus how does Bluestar like that shit!?" he yelled. Fireheart's ears pranced up, _Graystripe!_ he thought immediately. "What is he doing out here?" he asked aloud. Suddenly, he could feel something… as if a path was being lit up, it was the cum, it was leading him right to Graystripe. "This is incredible" said Fireheart. He began following the trail, one thing was for sure, it was not going towards ThunderClan territory. Fireheart began chasing the trail as it began to die down, he could see the river up ahead. "Oh God Graystripe…" he muttered angrily.

Fireheart came to the river, and there he was. Graystripe was about to jump stone to stone across the river. "Graystripe stop!" he shouted. Graystripe was standing in the middle of the river on a stone. "Fireheart?" he asked surprised. "Graystripe what the Hell are you doing you can't just go in there!" yelled Fireheart. Graystripe shook his head, "No way man…they have a Pussy bar I need to get to!" he yelled. "Damnit Graystripe stop being a mouse-brained fool your dick will freeze if you fall in those waters!" yelled Fireheart. Graystripe nodded, "Don't worry I won't fa-" suddenly a bird flew into him knocking him into the water. Fireheart sighed, "Yep…of course…" Graystripe was splashing around in the freezing water, "Help me Fireheart!" he yelled. Fireheart ran over to the water, but had no idea what to do. "I- I don't know how to get you!" he yelled. Graystripe was desperately trying to get to shore, Fireheart stopped, "I thought you could swim!" he yelled. Graystripe was trying to keep oxygen coming, "I can but I have a huge, massive, colossal, bon-" he fell under the water again. Fireheart stood desperately, "Oh StarClan…my best buds going to die…my life's going to suck so much ass if he's gone!"

*A world without Graystripe*

Fireheart and Sandstorm was sitting together in camp, Tigerclaw walked up to them. "Hey fucking perfectly matched non-queers! Out of my fucking way!" yelled Tigerclaw.

*Present*

"Huh…" he muttered. A cat from RiverClan came running down to the river and dived in towards him. Fireheart was shaking frantically, the cat dragged Graystripe to the ThunderClan side successfully, both cats were dripping wet. Graystripe opened his eyes, it was the silver furred cat Silverstream. Both were looking each other in the eyes, not saying anything. Suddenly Silverstream looked down at Graystripe's crotch, he still had a boner. Silverstream was staring at his dick, "Woah…" she muttered. Graystripe sniffed her fur, "Woah…" Fireheart walked in between the two, "Thanks for saving my friend Graystripe" he said loudly. Silverstream looked at him, "Your friend has a- well I'm glad I could help…" she said stepping back. Graystripe turned around and laid on his side, wiping water off of his head. Silverstream looked away from Graystripe and began moving back to her side of the river. Graystripe gasped looking at her, "Fireheart…did you see that she-cat?" he asked silently. Fireheart sat down next to him, "All I saw was a wet pussy" (That means two things :3)

The cats were walking back to camp, "How do you plan on explaining your wet fur?" asked Fireheart. Graystripe had a large stare on his face, "Uh…I don't know" he said confused. Fireheart sighed, "Well don't do anything that stupid again…" he demanded. Graystripe shook his head, "Whatever…" the two walked back into camp, "You should go see Yellowfa-" Fireheart stopped in disbelief. Bluestar and Yellowfang were at each others faces still. "At least I don't get fucked by low-life rats! Seriously!" yelled Yellowfang. Fireheart and Graystripe approached the two, Bluestar and Yellowfang immediately stopped and looked at Graystripe. Bluestar looked confused, "What happened to him?" Fireheart stood firmly, "Graystripe was…" he suddenly looked at his friend, he had already gone through enough for one day. Fireheart looked at Bluestar again, "Uh…I was licking him…" he said silently.

Bluestar slowly turned her head at Graystripe in disbelief, "You…uh…" she was trying to find the correct words. Yellowfang smiled, "Damn son…that's one good tongue you have there…"

TO BE CONTINUED!


	10. Chapter 9

_Allow me to explain the absence of chapters for this story. Incase many of you do not know, I do have a normal Warriors fan fiction. I am working on both the story, and video series, which obviously takes more time. I will eventually have a Facebook and Twitter page made that will announce updates on the developments of the video series, however these will also be my main way of talking about the Erotic Life of ThunderClan, especially the video game in the works. I will get back to you all when the pages for those sites are made. That is mainly why this is taking so long to make new chapters, anyways, enjoy! Or…__**really**__ enjoy…whatever turns you on I suppose._

Fireheart was walking with Graystripe through the camp. "So what do ya' think of Sandstorm?" asked Fireheart in a flirting tone. Graystripe's lips puckered, "I don't know….Sandstorm IS pretty hot!" admitted Graystripe. Fireheart and Graystripe giggled silently with each other, but Tigerclaw began walking up. "What are you whores doing!?" yelled Tigerclaw. Fireheart blushed and looked down, "Sorry Tigerclaw…" Tigerclaw's tail whipped Fireheart's face angrily. "Anyways…I think fucking Bluestar wants to see you." Fireheart sighed and pranced over to the leaders den. Bluestar was sitting waiting for him, "What is it Bluestar?" asked Fireheart. Bluestar let out a large burp, "Girl…you're looking mighty fine tonight…" said Bluestar in a manly voice. Fireheart looked away, "Bluestar it's morning…" Fireheart pointed out. Bluestar looked away chuckling, "Tigerclaw informed me that you were pawing your pussy out near the Twoleg place again…" said Bluestar. Fireheart was appalled, "Not true! I wasn't even near the Twoleg place!" a startled Fireheart said challengingly. Bluestar was smiling still, "Bluestar…I would never play with my pussy like that!" Bluestar spat on the ground, "Fine…get out of here…go back to your lesbo friend Graystripe!" Fireheart stomped on the ground frantically, "She isn't my lesbian friend Bluestar! She is my gal pal!" Bluestar had already reentered the den. Fireheart angrily marched back down to her den, Bluestar was standing still watching her. Bluestar breathed in and out, as he got a massive boner. Suddenly Bluestar's penis divided and formed two identical dicks, "Woah!" Bluestar shouted. "I have two fucking dicks no-

"Stop stop stop! Great StarClan that was awful!" yelled Yellowfang. Bluestar hissed at her, "What do you mean 'awful'!" Tigerclaw was shaking his head negatively, Fireheart and Graystripe looked lost in confusion. "What is with you anyways…do you want to be a Tom or something?" asked Tigerclaw. Bluestar chuckled, "Silly Tigerclaw…I already was a Tom, before I had that operation…" All of the cats suddenly looked at her shocked, "What!?" they all shouted.

=Chapter 9=

Fireheart accidentally thinks about incest

"Where are you going this time?" asked Fireheart. Graystripe stood still, "I'm just taking Brackenpaw out in the forest for a bit" Fireheart bit his lip, "Yeah…okay, but I'll be out in the forest with Cinderpaw today so if I see you near RiverClan territory you will not get so lucky this time" Fireheart threatened. Graystripe chuckled, "What would you do to me Fireheart?" he asked jokingly. "I would tell Bluestar…and she would punish you" said Fireheart. Graystripe suddenly looked afraid, "uh…loud and clear buddy" he said shaking. Graystripe quickly walked away from Fireheart to find Brackenpaw. Fireheart watched him leave, then decided to go find walked out of the den, where Cinderpaw suddenly leaped in front of him. "What the Hell!?" yelled Fireheart surprised. "Do we get to fuck yet!?" yelled the young Cinderpaw. Fireheart felt stunned at this question, "Maybe…we're going out into the forest to train though…" he said nervously. _How can that little kit want to get fucked at such an early age?_ "Well great!" yelled Cinderpaw jumping around quickly. _I'm going to have to let Cinderpaw rape me eventually…I'm so screwed! _Fireheart sighed, "Alright…let's get going…" Fireheart began walking out of camp with Cinderpaw, little did the two know, a horny cat was watching them. "Tigerclaw…keep watch of that ass…" said Bluestar. Tigerclaw nodded, "Yes Supreme Sexiness" he responded following the two cats. Bluestar was chuckling watching Fireheart and Cinderpaw. "Just wait…the first minute you screw up…I am going to punish that ass…" said Bluestar chuckling. Little did Bluestar know, Sandstorm was eavesdropping on Bluestar, "I better make sure Tigerclaw doesn't keep an eye on Fireheart…" said Sandstorm carefully stalking Tigerclaw. Little did Sandstorm know, Dustpaw was eavesdropping on her, "I like suspense and drama" he said smiling.

Fireheart was standing with Cinderpaw, "Alright…the first lesson is how to smell prey, all you really need to do is take a whiff and separate all familiar scents, with unfamiliar scents" Fireheart explained, "Try it now" Cinderpaw stepped in front of him and sniffed the air, "Ah…unknown type of rabbit…coordinates X:105, 67 Y:-200, 20 to the North, moving 4 mph, very close" Cinderpaw reported. Fireheart was standing still confused, "…What…?" Cinderpaw had already began charging towards the rabbit, which was slightly visible ahead. "Hey wait…hold on!" yelled Fireheart. Cinderpaw had caught up with the rabbit and tackled it, revealing the rabbits big dick. "Alright Fireheart! How do I insert my pussy!" she asked. Fireheart was confused and distraught, _I can't look at Cinderpaw's pussy…that seems so wrong…_ "Uh…you know what to do!" yelled Fireheart hoping for some outcome. Cinderpaw nodded, "You're right!" she yelled inspired. She began fucking the rabbit wildly, Fireheart was looking away disturbed. "Yeah your cock is mine cute bunny!" yelled Cinderpaw. Tigerclaw popped his head out of a bush spying on them, "Alright what the fuck are you doing wrong Fireheart…" he whispered aloud. He noticed that Fireheart was looking away from Cinderpaw while she was having sex. Tigerclaw growled, "Oh yeah sure! But if that were your queer friend Graystripe you would be staring down that fucking penis!" Sandstorm popped out of the bush behind Tigerclaw spying on him, Sandstorm was pondering on what to do, then it came to her. She went down under her bush, "Tigerclaw…it's me, your mom…" said Sandstorm in a silent tone. Tigerclaw looked around, "What!? Mom! Where the fuck are you old bag!" he yelled shocked. "I am a ghost…you need to stop watching that somewhat attractive orange cat and go fuck a bird" said Sandstorm. Tigerclaw hissed, "But mom! Queen Bitchesalot' told me to spy on-" "Shut the fuck up son and go fuck the golden bird sleeping outside of RiverClan territory" said Sandstorm. Tigerclaw looked more angry, "You can't fucking tell me wha- well…golden bird?" he asked. "Feathers as soft and slick as your dick" said Sandstorm. Tigerclaw nodded, "I gotta go get some of that shit!" he said running off, Sandstorm smiled and looked back at Fireheart.

Cinderpaw was blushing and slowly began lifting herself off of the rabbit. "Fireheart it splooged insi-" Fireheart quickly let out a cough interrupting her, "Yes well…you just need to retreat from the dick before that happens next time…" said Fireheart. Cinderpaw sniffed the air, "I smell a kittypet nearby! 5000 meters North-West!" Fireheart shook his head, "How do you keep doing that?" he asked. Cinderpaw already began charging towards the apparent kittypet. Fireheart continued to chase her, the two stopped short of the Twoleg place. "There she is!" yelled Cinderpaw. A light-brown tabby she-cat walking around the walls. She had beautiful fur and appeared to not be spayed yet. Fireheart was staring at her ass, something about this kittypet was very alluring to Fireheart. Fireheart could feel an uncontrollable throb in his crotch as he fantasized about having sex with the kittypet. _I can't control myself…_ Cinderpaw was observing the kittypet closely. "Well…it's your call, should we team up on that one?" proposed Fireheart. Fireheart could feel himself heating up waiting for her response. After a few moments of hesitation, Cinderpaw looked at him, "Sorry Fireheart…I feel so worn out from that rabbit…" Fireheart sighed, but somewhat felt relieved as well. "Well let's get back to camp…you learned plenty for the day" said Fireheart walking away. Both cats walked away, returning to camp. Sandstorm stood up from cover surprised, "…Fireheart…" she said grinding her teeth.

Fireheart had returned to camp, Bluestar typically was watching him make his way back to his den. Fireheart was going to go talk to Graystripe, but was not present in the den. "Must still be out training Bramblepaw" said Fireheart. Tigerclaw returned to Bluestar, "Status report!" demanded Bluestar. Tigerclaw growled, "Nothing out of the fucking ordinary! Just Fireheart fantasizing about getting his ass plunged by a cock!" yelled Tigerclaw. Bluestar sighed, "Very well…this is not over…not by a longshot…" Sandstorm ran back into camp, Fireheart looked over at her, then noticed something, she had run past Bramblepaw. Fireheart looked confused, and proceeded to approach Sakurapaw. "Hey Bramblepaw…how was training today?" asked Fireheart. Bramblepaw looked at him, "Graystripe said he was going to be busy on a special mission today, so we didn't get a chance…" Fireheart stood still, looking angry, he began grinding his teeth in anger.

Fireheart marched back to his den shaking in anger, "I know what the Hell is going on here…it is abundantly clear what is happening!" Fireheart shut his eyes, hesitating to shout the answer to himself. "It is now becoming clear to me…that…that kittypet was my long lost sister!" he yelled shocked.

TO BE CONTINUED!


	11. Chapter 10

Sandstorm was entering the camp after a successful hunt for sexy prey. She suddenly stopped at the sight of something, a cat standing still, surrounded by several other cats. "What the?" she ran over to the crowd with many questions to ask. Upon squeezing in, it was revealed that it was a grey cat with blazing red eyes. "wow" she muttered amazed. "Fools…I am a wolf…" the strange cat growled. Bluestar looked at him blankly, "Um…no, you aren't" the grey cat jumped in the air, "Yes I am!" Tigerclaw chuckled, "If you are a fucking wolf…then why don't you howl like one of the fuckers…" The cat grinned, then let out a very pathetic sounding howl, which sounded clearly like a distorted meow. Bluestar and Tigerclaw looked at each other, "How big is your dick?" Bluestar asked smiling. Suddenly a blazing red and white furred cat ran into the crowd, "Shut up, he is a wolf!" the red cat yelled. "What the Hell!?" yelled Bluestar. The cat had a very unrealistic appearance, a bright red coat of fur, as if the fur was perfectly dyed. "-and you are?" asked Bluestar. "What'dya' think I am? I'm a fox!" Tigerclaw ran up to his face, "Holy fucking shit! You are not a goddamn fox!" Suddenly Tigerclaw was grabbed and lifted up by a female twoleg. "Twoleg!" everyone shouted panicking. "Tigerclaw try to run!" yelled Fireheart. The Twoleg began stroking Tigerclaw roughly, "I love you kitty! You're going to be my new pet!" the twoleg shouted hugging Tigerclaw. "Wh-what the fuck! How can you speak our tongue!" he yelled. The twoleg got an obscure ' :3 ' face. "No…I can speak kitty!" she yelled. Two vampire cats walked over to Bluestar, "Welcome to ROBLOX…"

=Chapter 10=

Fireheart's Sister

It was night time and Fireheart was at Barley's again, the cats there were Fireheart, Smudge, Barley, and Ravenpaw. "-so then Falconclaw comes out of Bluestar's den, and I mean, she was wiped out after that, yet she was able to go find some berries" said Fireheart. Smudge was nodding approvingly, "Nice bro." Smudge was shaking his head, "I didn't like that one as much as the one where that Tiger fella' and Darkstripe was mating with each other" said Barley. Fireheart nodded, "Well that one was pretty good…" Fireheart said in agreement. Fireheart looked at Smudge, "Hey how has Buttercup been doing ever since…" Fireheart stared at the ground trying to shake his dark past. "He aint been the same since we were little kitties, when them twolegs chopped his nuts off he went into the great depression yo, he is one big chunker now I tell ya fo' sure" Fireheart was pondering about something for a moment, "Say, do you know a cat around the den that is light brownish?" asked Fireheart. Smudge ran up to his face, "Did that bitch sell me out!? I didn't purchase that catnip off the streets I grew it yo' aint dealin ya hear!?" he shouted quickly. "Huh?" a confused Fireheart muttered. Ravenpaw stood up, "That kittypet always around the Twoleg's place?" asked Ravenpaw. "Yes" said Fireheart. Ravenpaw grinned, "That she-cat is very nice and pretty, I chatted to her briefly once about being a kittypet." Barley leaped up, "Ravenpaw!" he shouted. Ravenpaw shook, "Don't worry…I'm not playing around with another cat…" he assured him. Smudge began to chuckle, "Yeh I know that bitch…fine lookin' she-cat…wouldn't mind stickin' mah' manhood inside of that…" said Smudge. "Can I see her Smudge?" asked Fireheart. "I aint' got jackshit on that!" he yelled running away. The cats looked out the door confused, "So…" Fireheart muttered confused. "He's just stoned…" said Ravenpaw.

Fireheart the following day broke away from camp to go to the twoleg place, he still hadn't seen Graystripe since he left for that 'secret mission' leading Fireheart to believe that he gotten himself in trouble, he would need to go looking for him after his mission to find his sister. He approached the wall of the twoleg place, but had no clue when she would come out. "Hey!" he shouted blankly into the air. After waiting for a response, it had become clear that she was not outside at the moment. He jumped on top of the wall to get a better look, he was looking near the door of the house when he saw it. There were like twelve cats sitting in front of the door. "How many cats does this twoleg need?" he asked himself. Suddenly the door opened, and three more cats ran out the door at that moment. The tall twoleg stepped out, holding a bottle, "What is-" suddenly the twoleg began forcibly dumping catnip over all of the cats. "Great StarClan! That Twoleg forces catnip on cats! This is a madhouse!" he said panicking. He then noticed that of the three cats that ran out, one was his target. Suddenly Fireheart fell off the wall into some mud, he then rolled into grass getting up, now with grass all over his fur. Fireheart was trying to get the mud off of his lips, he began licking, but it was only making a bunch of bubbly spit all over his mouth. He left his appearance as it was and began running towards the brown she-cat. "Hey you!" he yelled at her. The she-cat and her friends turned and looked at him appalled, "What is that!?" yelled one of her friends. Fireheart was dashing towards them with muddy and grassy fur, bubbling mouth, and a twitching ear. "I've come for you!" he yelled looking at the brown she-cat. Her jaw dropped suddenly, "Run Princess!" her friend yelled. Princess began to escape the insane looking Fireheart, but was tackled with ease. "Don't eat me!" she begged.

Fireheart smiled and begun devouring her entrails. (Kidding.)

"No, it's me, Rusty" Fireheart explained quickly. Princess was breathing heavily looking into his eyes, "Oh god…you're not going to commit incest are you?"

After a while of explaining, Fireheart and Princess sat down and began talking seriously. "The life of a Warrior is somewhat better…the Sexy Code is kind of bullshit though…" said Fireheart. "As in…" Princess asked. "Well…we gotta have sex with young cats pretty much on a daily basis" Princess was looking at him like he was a maniac. "Also we have a sex addicted leader…who at this point I'm pretty sure has been pregnant before…" Princess nodded, "Life here is just as strange I'm afraid…well…maybe to a slightly lesser extent" she said smiling. Fireheart nodded, "Well…are you spayed yet?" he asked. Princess shot him with a furious face, and slapped him across the face. "What!?" he yelled. Suddenly a banged up monster drove up to the house. Fireheart looked up shocked, "Who are they?" he asked. Princess shut her eyes angered, "Annoying friends of our owner…" The door to the monster opened, revealing two large twolegs. "Hey Eli! We got two of them pussers to shoot up!" one of the twoleg's yelled. The owner walked outside, "Fucking rednecks… for the last time I don't have any free beer for you!" the owner shouted angrily. "Well shit! Scooper let's go git' some beer and blow these pussers to pieces!" he yelled shooting his rifle into the air. Fireheart clearly could not understand them, but then he saw something. Two cages in the back of the monster, Graystripe and Silverstream were trapped in the back!

Fireheart grabbed Princess, "Those are my friends! I need to get them back! -and you gotta help us!" yelled Fireheart. Princess looked confused, " 'us'? Who's 'us'? she asked confused. "The readers god damnit!" he yelled.

TO BE CONTINUED!


	12. Chapter 11

Tigerclaw was stomping furiously down camp, enraged with a burning hatred for life, "I'm so fucking sick of that Fireheart and his wimpy dick…it's like nobody realizes how much better I am then him!" Bluestar walked past him, Tigerclaw quickly threw his paw in front of her tripping her. "Tigerclaw!" she yelled at him. "Oh, sorry! I've been fucking bad again haven't I?" he said trying to get attention. Bluestar narrowed her eyes at him, "Yeah…that gives me an idea…" she said smiling. "Darkstripe, get over to my den! I need _help _with something…" the two cats departed back into her den, leaving Tigerclaw behind. "This is fucking bull! Not that I want to fuck that hag or anything, but it's as if people are beginning to doubt my power!" A pissed Tigerclaw began to walk towards the fresh kill pile, "Even this is getting kind of stale…why don't we ever get the prey with nice asses?" Yellowfang approached him from behind suddenly, "I think I can help you with your problem." The two then sat inside of the Medicine Den, talking, "What the fuck is this all about Yellowfang?" he demanded. "If you can find all of the mystic yarn balls, your greatest wish will be granted, meaning you can become more sexual and powerful than ever imagined…" Yellowfang spoke wisely. Tigerclaw spat on the ground, "Mystic Yarn Balls…sounds like a bunch of shit…how many do I need to find then?" he demanded. "Seven…seven and you can have your wish granted." Tigerclaw nodded, "Sounds pretty fucking easy…" Yellowfang shook negatively, "Not true, along the way you will likely face other powerful cats who also wish to find them." Tigerclaw looked down at his paws, "Whatever! I'm going to find those yarn balls…" he said charging out.

-and so Tigerclaw began his journey to find the seven yarn balls, he would need to travel fast however, other cats intended on finding these balls as well…Sandstorm was standing next to Bluestar, "Where is he going?" she asked. "Who knows…" she said blankly.

=Chapter 11=

Rescue Graystripe and that one cat.

Fireheart and Princess were chasing the monster carrying Graystripe and Silverstream, the truck was driving down the Thunderpath, but the two were still able to keep up with it alongside the path. "This is getting tiresome…" Princess complained. "Shut up and chase it!" Fireheart demanded. The monster was starting to outrun them, but not by much. Fireheart was trying to keep running, but was starting to get a boner at the thought of Silverstream trapped in a cage. "Shit!" he yelled starting to lose speed. The monster had gotten away, but made a right turn going out into a wide open field. Fireheart and Princess both slowed down regaining their breath. "What are we going to do?" asked Princess. Fireheart looked over at the area they turned at, "We just follow them everywhere they go, who knows what they plan on doing to my friend…" he said worrying about Graystripe's fate. Princess looked at a worn out Fireheart and had an idea… she dropped some nip in front of him. "Where did you get that nip?" he asked shocked. "Smudge, he has connections with other cats from different houses, although he is constantly waging battle with other cats in a gang war over d-" Fireheart quickly snatched the nip and consumed it, becoming high very quickly. "I'ma coming Graystripe!" he said charging towards the monster again.

Graystripe and Silverstream were still sitting patiently in the back of the monster, the Twolegs got out of it and sat around with their rifles. "Yall ever seen such a nice day Tim?" the other Twoleg bounced up in the air, "It aint been this good of a day since I got new rims for ma' truck Scooper." Fireheart and Princess glanced up at them from a rock, Graystripe and Silverstream was still hopelessly locked up in the back, desperately needing a way out. Fireheart ran up to the cages quietly, trying not to alert the Twoleg's of his presence. Graystripe saw Fireheart leap up to the cages quietly, "Fireheart!" he yelled. "Quiet…let's get you out of here as quick as we can before the Twoleg's notice us…" Fireheart was trying to figure out how to open the contraption, "So how are you?" Graystripe asked. Fireheart smiled, "Oh, good, learned I have a sister…and the clan has been very quiet lately." Graystripe nodded, "Yeah it seems like relations with other clans lately haven't been very bad, not good, but not bad either…" Fireheart stood still conversing with Graystripe, "I was hanging out with Smudge and Ravenpaw last night and they-" Suddenly a Twoleg looked at Fireheart standing in the back, "Tim! We got another pusser!" he yelled. "Shit! Shouldn't have been having an everyday conversation for so long!" Fireheart regretted jumping away from the cages. The Twoleg began firing in his direction, but missed every shot, Fireheart scampered back through the trees escaping the insane Twoleg. The other Twoleg held the others rifle moving it down, "Let em' go for now, we aint' gonna use all this ammo on one damn pusser…"

Fireheart was panting at the fear of almost getting shot several times, "Now what am I going to do…" Fireheart asked himself. Suddenly he looked around, Princess had left the area. "What the- wow, bitch" he said complaining about Princess's sudden absence. The Twoleg opened up Graystripe's cage and grabbed him out, the other one grabbing Silverstream. _It's now or never!_ Fireheart thought to himself charging at the Twoleg's. He leaped onto the one holding Graystripe's back, clawing deeply into him. "Oh God Tim! Dang ol' Pusser fightin' me git' him off of me!" he yelled squirming. He dropped Graystripe, who ran underneath the monster. The other Twoleg held his rifle while holding Silverstream at the same time, but could not keep hold of her with one hand as she easily slipped out of his grasp. "Damnit!"

The three cats got underneath the monster, "So how do we get out of this mess?" asked Graystripe. "We just run!" yelled Fireheart running off. The three cats was escaping the Twoleg's , but one of them opened up the door of his vehicle. "Don't worry, we'll git' em…" He let out a dog that was in the back of the monster, "Get em' Biscuit!" the Twoleg yelled letting the drooling dog to chase the three barking. "Yeh! Come on Biscuit git' em!" The three cats were trying to reach the Thunderpath again, with a dog close behind them. "There is a dog chasing us!" Silverstream yelled. "Oh really?" Fireheart asked sarcastically. The dog bit Graystripe's tail, "Yee-ouch!" he yelled leaping in front of the two suddenly. "Graystripe! Are you okay?" Fireheart yelled. Graystripe had gotten an adrenaline rush and was running ahead of the two much faster now. The cats saw the tunnel going through the Thunderpath, which was too small for the dog to fit through. They leaped inside of it, the dog ramming right into it, getting stuck. The dog desperately tried fitting inside, despite it's size, but could not proceed, the cats got away.

The Twoleg's walked up to Biscuit, "Bad boy! Yall aint' getting any Mountain Dew today boy!"

Later on the cats found themselves in the middle of the forest, "What is this?" Fireheart demanded. Silverstream and Graystripe looked at each other, "Well…I decided that Graystripe is a cute, awkward cat, with a nice dick…" Graystripe looked at Fireheart, "-and she is a shy pretty she-cat with silver fur, and is most hated." "Huh?" Fireheart asked confused. "Th-the point is, Fireheart…we like each other emotionally, and physically…" Graystripe explained. "But you two are from different clans!" Fireheart lectured. Graystripe stared at him motionless, "Fireheart? Are you just disturbed at the image of my testicles slapping against her ass all night long?" he asked. Fireheart got a shocked, disturbed expression on his face, "No! Yes! Well not originally…but now that you say that, it's in my head, so I'm sorry…" Silverstream licked his balls and ran back off to RiverClan. "Dammit Graystripe, I'm sick of your shit…when are you going to train Brackenpaw?" he asked. Graystripe looked up at him, "I've been doing stuff with him!"

*A few days ago*

"Hey Graystripe! Can we train today?" Brackenpaw asked. Graystripe rolled over from his nap, "Um…yeah go out and find a bird or something…I'm hungry" he said rolling back over.

"Oh yes, what a great lesson that was…" Graystripe said remembering. Fireheart shook his head disapprovingly, as they walked back to camp.

The cats entered the camp, and was met by Sandstorm, "Oh it's Graystripe, I thought he died…" An angry Graystripe hissed and walked to his den. Fireheart watched him enter his den, looking down at his paws sadly. Fireheart looked up and scanned the area, "Hey wait…it's unusually quiet…where's Tigerclaw?" Fireheart asked. Sandstorm shrugged, "Not sure…he left camp this morning…"

Tigerclaw stood in front of another dark colored cat with devious eyes, "Ah, Tigerclaw! We meet again! But I'm afraid I can't let you go any further!" the powerful cat said with an evil voice.

TO BE CONTINUED!


	13. Chapter 12

_I've been working on a more serious fan-fiction on a daily basis, and have not been in the mood to write these kinds of stories lately. Ultimately, since I foresee that I will be working on my story throughout the entire Summer, I've decided the best way to tackle the Erotic Life of ThunderClan is to make one chapter a week. (probably every Saturday) The chapters will probably be longer however, and hopefully done a bit better, once I feel that this whole thing is becoming too stale, I will drop the Atomic Bomb of an ending, an ending so trippy that it probably will counter everything else I wrote, but it will be magnificent and hilarious. _

Friezatail was looking at Tigerclaw with a smirk on his face, Tigerclaw was standing over a dying Vegetastripe. "Tigerclaw…there is something about Friezatail that you don't know…" he said coughing. Tigerclaw put his paws on Vegetastripe, "What the fuck is it Vegetastripe!?" Tigerclaw shouted. Vegetastripe coughed, "Friezatail destroyed his entire forest…his own forest! -or maybe there was just a forest fire…I don't remember!" Tigerclaw went up to his face, "Don't die! I fucking need you!" Tigerclaw yelled. But it was too late, Vegetastripe died for some reason. Tigerclaw spat on the ground, "God fucking dammit!" he yelled. Tigerclaw turned towards Friezatail, "I'm going to fucking kill you now…" Friezatail laughed at him. "THEN…I'm going to take those fucking BALLS!" Friezatail looked at him still smirking, "understandable…" "-and then…I'm going to RAPE YOU!" Tigerclaw shouted. Friezatail's eyes widened, "What?"

=Chapter 12=

Fireheart woke up with Graystripe, this time Fireheart was going to ensure that Graystripe knocked off the shit with Silverstream. Fireheart waited patiently for him to wake up, but he was in a heavy slumber because of his bad encounter with the Twolegs. Fireheart noticed that cats were gathering around Bluestar's den, she must have had an announcement to make. Fireheart ran out and met with the crowd of cats, Bluestar stood alone on her den, Tigerclaw missing still. "Cats of ThunderClan…after an afternoon of painful masturbation, I've decided that I am not getting very good prey, so we are going to change some rules around…" All the cats began to look at each other, narrowing their eyes at Bluestar. "I feel the fairest way to resolve this issue, is by letting me pick the prey first…" Everyone began to complain immediately, "Hey hey hey! I work hard…so I deserve this!" Bluestar yelled. Darkstripe looked up at her, "You call raping us, work?" he asked. Bluestar looked at him, narrowing her eyes, "Hey…shut up." Darkstripe stayed quiet, "That's against the Sexy Code bitch!" Falconclaw yelled. Bluestar stomped her paw down, "Fine! Great StarClan!" she said walking away. Bluestar turned towards the group of cats, "You can all suck my dick!" she yelled walking back into her den. The cats all remained quiet afterwards. "Wait…what did she just say?" asked Fireheart.

Graystripe woke up, slowly opening his eyes, the day was peaceful and the grass blew along with the wind gently. "Ah…time to fuck the shit out of Silve-" Suddenly he saw Fireheart standing over him. "Nope, you promised that we would both go train our apprentices together today…" Graystripe bounced up moaning, "Whhhhhhy…." Fireheart whipped him across the face with his dick. "You promised! -and you are going to keep that promise!" Graystripe moaned, standing up, "FINE…Where is the little bastard?" he asked referring to Brackenpaw. Fireheart and Graystripe walked outside, Brackenpaw was waiting with Cinderpaw outside of the den. "You're lucky…you get the she-cat…" he muttered. Fireheart spun his head at him, "Dude…she's like…YOUNG…" Graystripe shrugged, "Alright guys…where are we going?" asked Graystripe. "We're going to Sunningrocks…we will hunt whatever we find there." Brackenpaw leaped into the air, "Aw yeah! I can't wait to fuck the shit out of everything that moves, yahoo!" Graystripe bitch slapped him, "Calm down, we give all prey to the Elders…if you are lucky, they will spare some pussy for you" Graystripe lectured. Fireheart spun around, "Let's get going!"

Later on, they were walking towards Sunningrocks, there were no prey in the area, and the two apprentices seemed to be getting bored. Graystripe saw a leaf falling down from the sky, it slowly floated down, Graystripe got into a stalking position, and once it got low enough, he leaped and began raping the leaf. Brackenpaw was watching in amazement, "Cool!" he shouted seeing Graystripe have sex with a leaf. Fireheart closed his eyes and exhaled, "Yes…one day you will be able to do that…" Fireheart said silently. "But Fireheart! I don't have a dick!" Cinderpaw panicked. Fireheart's fur went stiff, "Don't worry, every Tom and Bluestar will want to pleasure you…" Fireheart reassured.

Later on they arrived at Sunningrocks, Fireheart and Graystripe stopped, "Welcome to Sunningrocks, it is a beautiful plac-" Fireheart looked around not seeing Cinderpaw anywhere. "Where did she go?" he asked. Cinderpaw was somehow on top of the stone slope, rolling around on it. "Awww yeah…that feels so nice!" she said feeling the stone. Fireheart nodded, "Yes it is a magn-" "It's just so smooth…and warm…and it feels so good!" she said drooling over the rock. Fireheart looked at her oddly, "Well…I guess…" he said unsure of what was going on. Cinderpaw continued to rub herself all over the stone, finding some kind of pleasure from it. Soon Brackenpaw jumped up on the stone as well, feeling every inch of stone. "This stone is so nice!" he yelled. They were both wiggling all over the stone, Fireheart and Graystripe looked at each other confused, "Are they high?" Graystripe asked.

Cinderpaw and Brackenpaw eventually leaped down back to them, "Is this where Tigerclaw heroically avenged Redtail?" Cinderpaw asked. _Heroically?_ Fireheart thought. Fireheart narrowed his eyes looking at her, "Wait a minute…how did Tigerclaw tell the story?" he asked suspiciously. Cinderpaw looked up into the air nodding, "Well…it all started-"

**TIGERCLAW'S STORY**

An angry Redtail with glowing, red, evil, eyes was looking at all of the defeated ThunderClan cats. "God fucking dammit you useless fucks get back up and fight!" Redtail yelled with a demonic voice. The ThunderClan cats were completely battered, and could not even get up, "I said…**get up!**" Redtail screamed. A ThunderClan cat got on his feet, then fell down. Redtail spat on the ThunderClan cat, "Useless trash!" Redtail insulted him spitting all over him. A great, magnificent Tigerclaw ran up to Redtail, "Deputy, we seem to have gotten defeated…it may be within our best interests if we retreat this time, we only risk losing more warriors with all due respect…" Tigerclaw said calmly. Redtail dick whipped Tigerclaw to the ground angrily, "Fucking bitch…I'm charge here!" Redtail yelled at Tigerclaw. It was then that over the cliff, stood RiverClan deputy, Oakheart. Redtail revealed a cheesy smile, blood dripping out of his fangs like a vampire. "Oakheart! I look forward to **killing** you faggot!" An enraged Redtail, blood flying out of his mouth, and his eyes glowing blood red, leaped at Oakheart. Oakheart simply moved to the side, dodging Redtail, Redtail flew hundreds of miles off target, eventually flying right into the Thunderpath, where he was suddenly ran over by twenty monsters, before a twoleg got out and shot him, drinking the blood out of his dead body. Tigerclaw looked down at his paws, "Redtail may not have been the best cat…but he was our deputy…and I will honor him by defeating you!" Tigerclaw calmly yelled. Oakheart nodded, then jumping down the cliff in front of Tigerclaw, "Easy kill…" he said looking into a brave Tigerclaw's eyes. He leaped at Tigerclaw, but Tigerclaw leaped around him knocking him to the ground, Oakheart was surprisingly defeated easily. He spun around, noticing that Tigerclaw's claw dug right into his heart, piercing it. Oakheart coughed out blood, "I am defeated…You are a powerful cat Tigerclaw…and probably the toughest cat I have ever met…you are superior to me…" Oakheart said with his last words. Tigerclaw looked at him, disappointed that it came to this, "Oakheart…" he muttered watching him slip away. "Follow me on Twitter (a)FckingTigerclaw" he said as Oakheart then died.

**END OF STORY**

Fireheart was looking at Cinderpaw in amazement, "I don't think that's how it happened…"

The cats later on, heard a noise, Cinderpaw spun around pointing in a direction, "Vole! Twenty Meters, North-West! Moving quickly…" she reported. Graystripe and Fireheart very slowly turned their heads towards her, "Huh?" Graystripe asked. Suddenly the vole could be seen, Brackenpaw and Cinderpaw spotted it, Cinderpaw immediately wanted it's dick and rushed it, "Cinderpaw wait!" Fireheart yelled. The vole saw her charging at it, and ran away quickly, avoiding rape. Cinderpaw stood still sadly, "It got away…" Fireheart walked over, "You spooked the cattle…"

Eventually after a day of hunting, everyone caught a vole except for Cinderpaw, who was now feeling bad, it seemed like they were shoving their voles into her face. Brackenpaw whipped his vole at Cinderpaw's face, "Isn't this the best vole you ever saw?" he said shoving it more into her face. "Yes…it's nice…" she whimpered. Brackenpaw continued to shove it at her face pushing it roughly against her nose. "Smell it, it's nice!" Brackenpaw yelled. Cinderpaw groaned, "Yes, it is very nice…" Brackenpaw shoved it right down her mouth, "Taste it Cinde-" Cinderpaw swatter Brackenpaw away, "Okay! Enough with that!" she began walking back into the camp alone. "Son of a **whore**!" she yelled walking in camp. It was a fairly successful day of hunting, Cinderpaw would just need to try again when she next gets a chance. Brackenpaw turned towards Graystripe, "Thanks for actually doing something with me today" he said smiling. Graystripe returned a sad look, "I've just been busy…doing…sex, with another cat" said Graystripe. Fireheart hit him, "What the Hell man…" Fireheart muttered.

The cats were all standing around camp, it was now night time, and everyone began to look up in amazement, it was Tigerclaw, he was walking into camp slowly. "He's back…" Fireheart muttered sadly. Tigerclaw was being swarmed with other cats, Bluestar and Yellowfang walked up, Yellowfang approached him, "Did you find all of the yarn balls?" she asked. Tigerclaw had his eyes shut, "Hell yeah…it was a lot of fucking work…but I made my wish…" he muttered. Yellowfang looked at him confused, "I don't feel like having sex with you…I thought you were going to wish for maximum sex appeal?" Yellowfang asked. Tigerclaw looked up at her, "No…I did something better…"

Tigerclaw leaped onto the leaders den, "Cats of ThunderClan! I made a wish! -and it came true…I am now a virgin again!" All of the cats looked at Tigerclaw confused. "I wished to be a virgin, and now I am, I feel like I never had sex before…and this time I won't waste it on some ordinary cat…I will lose my virginity to-"

Bluestar puckered her lips, "A virgin huh? You were out of camp for three days without my permission…you need to be punished…"

Tigerclaw was twitching, making no response. Fireheart leaped in the air laughing, "Daaaaaayumn boy!" he shouted.

TO BE CONTINUED!


	14. Chapter 13

Fireheart, Graystripe, Tigerclaw, Bluestar, and many of the other warriors sat around in a circle. Bluestar looked up into the air, "I believe that StarClan recognized my importance here, which is why I was bestowed the honor of becoming leader." Tigerclaw shook his head angrily, "No…you were chosen because Sunstar felt bad that you were sexually abused by your pa-" Bluestar hissed at Tigerclaw, "Shut up!' Tigerclaw chuckled at her, "Fucking Sunstar, now there is someone who knew how to run a clan…" All of the cats looked at Bluestar, who was clearly angry. "Sunstar was raped by a dog…you should-" she was interrupted by several sounds in the air. Everyone looked around confused, when suddenly large explosions filled the air. "Holy shit!" Fireheart yelled. Darkstripe came running towards the crowd of cats, "It's the Twolegs! They're trying to blow up the sky again!" Bluestar gazed at the constant explosions in the air, the explosions left large sprinkles of colors in the air. "No…they are trying to kill StarClan!" she panicked. All the cats began panicking and running around camp, even Tigerclaw, Fireheart and Graystripe ran back to their den. "What do we do Graystripe?" Fireheart yelled afraid. Graystripe pulled some death berries he saved out of a bush, "I'll swallow one of these! Once I'm dead you eat some too…" Fireheart nodded in agreement. Tigerclaw leaped around the corner of a den grabbing Darkstripe, Darkstripe looked at him gritting his teeth in fear, "Darkstripe! You're coming with me! Let's just escape the forest!" he panicked. Darkstripe gasped at the sudden silence, the explosions had stopped. Fireheart swatted the death berries away from Graystripe's face, realizing it was over. Bluestar stepped out of her den trembling, then smiled, "Cats of ThunderClan…it is over…" Everyone began to chatter happily at their survival, Bluestar dipped her head smiling, "For celebration…all of you are to come to my den to watch me and Tigerclaw do it!" she said excitedly. All of the cats stared at her trembling in fear, Graystripe began to tremble, looking at Fireheart angrily. "Give me those death berries!" he yelled wrestling him for the berries.

=Chapter 13=

Fireheart stood proudly in the middle of camp, it was a good day, except Graystripe had left to see Silverstream again. Fireheart looked around camp, for once everything seemed to me normal, no sex, abnormal events, Bluestar, or rape to be seen. Sandstorm ran up to Fireheart with a determined look, "What'cha doing?" she asked. Fireheart nodded happily, "Just enjoying this nice normal day in camp…" Sandstorm looked around the camp confused, "Normal? But noone is having sex…" she stated confused at his definition of _normal_. Everything **was** normal up until the point that Tigerclaw began to march towards Fireheart. Fireheart looked at the marching Tigerclaw and gulped, "Oh boy…here we go…" he muttered. Tigerclaw smiled with his teeth, looking at Fireheart, "Good morning Fireheart…I had a great dream yesterday" he stated calmly. Fireheart narrowed his eyes at him, "Great dream?" he asked afraid. Tigerclaw snarled, "It was a dark and stormy night, and a defeated Fireheart lay dead and raped on the ground…we were all sad, but ultimately ditched your wasteful body in the river." Sandstorm twitched her eye at him, "We seem to have different types of 'Great Dreams'."

Bluestar walked up to the three, looking angrily at Sandstorm, Sandstorm looked around her for another cat, but realized that the intimidating stare was directed towards her. "Hello Fireheart, **hello Sandstorm!**" Bluestar greeted raising her voice. Fireheart dipped his head, "Yes?" he asked Bluestar. Bluestar turned around, "Follow me Fireheart…" she said walking back to her den. Fireheart clenched his teeth in fear, he was just waiting for the day that Bluestar would just force him to have sex with her. Sandstorm looked at Fireheart, fearing for his fate with Bluestar, also wondering where Bluestar's tension towards her came from. Tigerclaw noticed the fear in Sandstorm's eyes and grinned, "This I gotta' fucking see!" he yelled walking towards the leaders den.

Fireheart stood in front of Bluestar, she signaled a cat to step up. Fireheart looked to her side, seeing a black and white cat approaching. "Yo yo what's up ma' Rusty bro?" Smudge said stepping by Bluestar. Fireheart widened his eyes at the sight of Smudge the kittypet alongside Bluestar. "What is this?" Fireheart asked confused. Bluestar grinned, "Well, Smudge is now an official warrior…" she stated. "What!?" Fireheart asked shocked. Bluestar and Smudge laughed at Fireheart, "Just kidding…he is simply here to complete a transaction…" Smudge turned towards Bluestar, "Yo got ma' stuff?" Bluestar nodded, throwing a dead rabbit his way. Smudge poked at the weak looking rabbits body, "This here sack is dry, you jackin' me bro?" he said accusingly. Bluestar hissed at him, "Fine…" she pulled that body away, offering him a larger rabbit with softer fur. "This suit you?" Bluestar asked. Smudge poked the rabbits ass, "Yep…this'll do just fine…" he said approvingly. Bluestar stomped her paw down, "Now fork over the goods…" she demanded. Smudge nodded quickly, throwing down some powerful smelling catnip, then ran away with the rabbit. Fireheart could smell the catnip from where he was standing, "That is some strong shit…" he commented. Bluestar nodded in agreement, "It's for WindClan…I want you to deliver this to WindClan as an offer of good will." Tigerclaw suddenly pushed Fireheart aside, "What was that no good queer fucking kittypet doing here?" he demanded. Bluestar ignored his comment, looking at Fireheart, "They have something I want from them, I think they will fork it over with a little…persuasion…" she said pushing the catnip towards Fireheart. Fireheart picked up the catnip, bowing to Bluestar, "I'll get this to them quickly!" he said running away from Bluestar quickly. Bluestar continued to look at his ass bouncing as he ran, smiling. "On a scale of one to ten, how hot do you think Fireheart's ass is?" Bluestar asked Tigerclaw. Tigerclaw spat on the ground, "Negative nine…" Bluestar turned slowly at him, "Punishment…"

Fireheart walked towards Sandstorm, "Hey want to deliver this shit to WindClan with me?" he asked. Sandstorm cringed at his question, "Deliver shit?" Fireheart shook his head negatively, "No, no, it's street talk for drugs…" Sandstorm looked at him confused, "Street?" Fireheart sighed, "Well I'm going to get going then, follow if you wish." Sandstorm shrugged and began to follow him out of camp. Darkstripe stared at the two, he grinned deviously looking at the two, beginning to chuckle in an evil tone, "I'm going to… take a well deserved nap!" he said leaping onto the ground.

Fireheart and Sandstorm was out alone on the way to WindClan territory talking, "So how is your training with Cinderpaw going?" Sandstorm asked. Fireheart sighed, "She is determined, but I don't feel like I can help her since I'm not a she-cat…" Fireheart admitted. Sandstorm looked at her confused, "Why does that make a difference?" Fireheart cringed thinking, "I get a little disturbed, having to watch a she-cat who looks up to me do sexual things…" Sandstorm puckered thinking how she could help, "Maybe you just don't understand how it all works…I can show you how a she-cat pleasures herself." Fireheart jolted up straight, "What? Err….uh….yeah okay!" he said excited.

Little did the two know, two cats were spying on them from above a hill, it was Kriegclaw the Germanic rouge and his friend, Aquatail. "I have her within my sights!" Kriegclaw shouted loudly. Aquatail calmly sat near him, "A little more quiet?" he proposed. Kriegclaw leaped onto his paws, "That little dummkopf may have stolen the race from me…but I am still superior over her!" Kriegclaw shouted with full glory. Aquatail sarcastically hummed in agreement. "I, the great Kriegclaw…will exert my full attention to ruining her life now that I know where she lives!" he said laughing victoriously. Kriegclaw threw his paw in front of him, revealing his sharp claws, "Not only am I fast, but I am the most powerful cat in the forest as well!" he gloated. Aquatail calmly looked at him, "That is very egotistic of you." Kriegclaw chuckled at his friend, "You are just jealous because I have a superior dick…" Aquatail shrugged looking down at the ground, "I'm not responding to that…" Kriegclaw looked away from him, watching Fireheart and Sandstorm continue towards WindClan territory, "We need to pursue them!" Kriegclaw shouted. Aquatail shook his head negatively at Kriegclaw, "Why do you like being such an asshole?" Kriegclaw chuckled at Aquatail, "I think that's your shtick…" he said stalking them in glory. Aquatail sighed following him, "Of all the rogues, I choose to hang out with you…why?"

Fireheart and Sandstorm approached the entrance to WindClan camp, they were immediately intercepted by Deaddick, the cat had no tail, ears, and had messed up fur. "You two!" he yelled at Fireheart and Sandstorm. "Hello Deaddick…" Fireheart greeted. "What?" he asked, not able to hear. Fireheart looked at him, still holding the catnip, "Can we see Tallstar?" he asked. "Who?" Deaddick asked. "Tallstar, your leader?" Fireheart shouted. "Jimmy Ryan?" Deaddick asked. Fireheart and Sandstorm looked at eachother completely lost, "N-no…Tallstar…" Deaddick scratched his head, "We missed our drop zone by about twenty miles. Ended up way over by uh...Bumville or some damn place." Fireheart swatted his face under frustration, Tallstar then approached the two, "Hello…" he greeted. Fireheart dropped the catnip in front of him immediately, "Bluestar says that you have something she wants" he stated. Deaddick and Tallstar both looked at the catnip in amazement, "Nice!" Tallstar shouted. Deaddick looked sadly at the small amount of catnip, "There isn't enough for everyone…" he said trembling wanting the catnip. Tallstar nodded, "We'll split it into three…part for me, you, and one other prestigious cat in the clan…" Deaddick was licking his lips anxiously for the drugs, "Fine…fine…" Fireheart cleared his throat, "What was it that Bluestar might want from you?" he asked. Tallstar nodded, running back into his den quickly.

Moments later, Deaddick sat looking at the catnip, ready to get partying with it. Tallstar returned dragging back something in his mouth, he dropped it in front of Fireheart. "Dog leash…straight from the Twolegs…" Fireheart looked at it confused, "I don't know…what would Bluestar use a dog lea-" "That's probably what she was wanting" Sandstorm said clearly seeing some other use for the leash. Fireheart picked up the leash, dipping his head appreciative of WindClan's quick cooperation. As the two began to walk away, Tallstar looked at Deaddick, "Okay, we'll either share this with: Tornear, Mudclaw, Tornear, Featherpool, Barkface, or Ashfoot."

Fireheart and Sandstorm began walking back to camp, "I wonder how many times Tigerclaw has been punished…" Fireheart asked aloud. Sandstorm shrugged, "A lot…Bluestar seems to favor him for some reason, probably because he has the second biggest dick in the clan…" Fireheart looked at her confused, "Second, who has the bigg-" they were suddenly interrupted as Kriegclaw rolled down the hill accidentally like a fool, he rolled right in front of the two cats. Sandstorm gasped at the sight of him, Kriegclaw leaped up onto his paws looking at her proudly, "Hahaha! Sandpaw!" he shouted. "It's Sandstorm…" she corrected him. Kriegclaw shook his head grinning, "Whatever floats your boat…you stole that race from me, and now I have come to beat the shit out of you…" he said laughing unrealistically. Sandstorm narrowed her eyes at the self-centered cat, Kriegclaw looked at her with a look of destiny, "Oh, and after I beat you, I am going to rape you!" he yelled gritting his teeth together happily. Sandstorm was still looking at him with little interest, Kriegclaw got into a combat position, "Prepare for paw-to-paw combat! But it won't be easy! I am the best of the best!"

A few moments later a completely battered Kriegclaw lay defeated on the ground, as Sandstorm and Fireheart calmly continued walking back to camp. Kriegclaw was approached by his companion, Aquatail. "Learn something from this?" he asked. Kriegclaw managed to get back on his paws, revealing a slight smile, "I almost had her…she just had that fairly good looking orange cat with her…that's all…" Aquatail grinned at him, "You mean that cat who simply stood watching you fight her?" Kriegclaw growled at him, "Whatever! I am still the superior cat of the forest!" he yelled.

Fireheart and Sandstorm reentered ThunderClan camp, Sandstorm departing from Fireheart, making it look like he tackled the mission alone. He brought the leash up to the leaders den, an excited Bluestar began to leap up excitedly. "You did it!" Bluestar said proudly. Tigerclaw looked at the leash confused, "What the fuck is that?" Bluestar grabbed the leash, smiling deviously, she threw it over Tigerclaw's head. Tigerclaw widened his eyes shocked, "What the fuck are you doing?" he demanded. Fireheart looked at the two disturbed at what was going on. Bluestar held the rope of the leash, "You've been a naughty kittypet…" Bluestar said acting like a Twoleg. Tigerclaw gritted his teeth angrily, "Oh, **Hell** no!" Fireheart carefully stepped back, not wanting to get involved.

Graystripe entered camp finally, Fireheart went over to greet him, but noticed something about him. His fur was completely soaked, Fireheart growled at him, "You fell into the river again…didn't you?" Graystripe looked back at him, shaking negatively, "No, Silverstream was licking me again" he responded. Fireheart shook his head confused, "What the Hell?"

TO BE CONTINUED!


	15. Chapter 14

Rusty was standing outside of the Twoleg place, about to depart into the woods for prey to eat. He knew going out into the wild was a risky move, but his excitement for hunting animals got in front of him again. Rusty began moving into the forest, leaving behind the Twoleg place, Smudge moments later ran out to find him. "Rusty bro!" he shouted looking for him. Smudge looked around but could tell that Rusty had already departed into the forest. "Da-amn! Lil' bitch gonna' die out there!" he yelled out.

Rusty was walking around the forest happily, feeling that a new adventure was ahead of him. "I don't know what's so bad about this place, it seems so nice out here…" Suddenly he was rammed into by a small cat, knocking him onto the ground, Rusty looked up and could see a pathetic dick above him. "What the Heck are you doing!?" Rusty screamed. "You're an intruder and I am going to rape you!" the gray cat yelled. Rusty's eyes were trembling at the sight of the boner, "Holy shit…" the cat got off of him brushing his fur. "You're not from around here are you?" the cat asked. "Hell no!" Rusty said panicking. "I'm Graypaw, and one day I'm going to be the most powerful cat in the forest." Rusty stood up confused, "Okay." Graypaw looked around nervously, "Look buddy…you should get out of here before _she_ finds us together!" "Before _who_ gets here?" a female cat said coming out of the bushes, it was Bluestar. "I saw you fighting Graypaw…you looked pretty good…" Rusty rubbed his head, "I didn't even fight back though…" Bluestar circled Rusty whipping her tail around his face, "Come join us…we could use another nice dick…" she said erotically. Rusty widened his eyes, "Another what?"

-and so began an eternity of suffering for Rusty.

=Chapter 14=

Fireheart woke up, slowly opening his eyes to find his best friend Graystripe sitting next to him, but he was not in the den once again. Fireheart narrowed his eyes angrily, "That's it!" he shouted. Fireheart marched out of the den angrily, ready to track down Silverstream and Graystripe and finish this, he marched past Sandstorm angrily. "Woah, calm down Fireheart!" she yelled. Fireheart stopped and looked at her calmly, "Just calm down Fireheart! You're out of control!" she shouted at him. Fireheart slowly began walking away from her, "Okay…see ya' later then…" Sandstorm watched Fireheart walk away from her, leaving camp for RiverClan territory. "I should probably warn the camp to evacuate before he gets out of control…" she muttered.

Fireheart walked down the forest preparing to find Graystripe somewhere near RiverClan territory. "I'm gonna kill him…" Fireheart muttered angrily. If things continued going the way they were, Brackenpaw would still be an apprentice by the time Cinderpaw became a warrior, Brackenpaw having a penis gave him an advantage however as Bluestar favored toms. Fireheart saw a vole run away from him, but he had no intentions of raping the vole this time. "What will I do if I find them? I can't just break them up…" he pondered aloud. Fireheart leaped down a slope and landed on his paws immediately, he could slightly hear chatter from a far distance, it was definitely two cats. "I have you now…" he muttered moving towards the noise. He felt that he was trespassing in foreign territory, but it was okay because 70% of RiverClan was high on catnip 24/7 and would not notice him walking around.

Fireheart then spotted Graystripe and Silverstream sitting with each other, Fireheart carefully stalked them not wanting to get caught. The two appeared to be talking with each other, Fireheart wanted to hear what Graystripe was telling her. "I'll use my super-cat hearing to listen to them!" he stated to himself. Fireheart focused carefully on Graystripe trying to tune in to their conversation. "-so Fireheart just got completely raped! Brokenstar then decided to drop his raped body and confront me bravely…" Silverstream smiled at him, "You're so brave." Graystripe stood with pride, "I then entered combat with him, but had the superior dick, and brought down his tyrannical empire with my mighty dick, Fireheart eventually regained consciousness and thanked me for being a hero." Suddenly Fireheart approached the two angrily, Graystripe turned at him in shock quickly. "Fireheart!" he said surprised.

"That's it…" Fireheart yelled pulling out a large sword, he began swinging it in the air, "Thunder, thunder, thundercats! HOOOOO" he said brutally murdering Graystripe and Silverstream. (Not really.)

"What are you doing here?" Graystripe asked. "What are _you_ doing away from Brackenpaw?" Fireheart countered. Graystripe groaned, "I'm hanging out with my hot gf don't pester me Fireheart!" he yelled. Silverstream began to tremble, "Can't we all just have a three-way?" Silverstream proposed. "No!" the two cats both responded. Fireheart ran up to Graystripe's face, "That's it…I'm gonna' kick your ass!" he threatened. "Don't try it Fireheart…I know kong fu…" Fireheart returned a look of shock, "I know Hapkido…" Graystripe grinned, "I have Kai powers…" Fireheart hissed at him, "Bullshit!" Fireheart and Graystripe stepped back from each other, "Okay okay…let's just calm down before something retarded happens…"

Suddenly Graystripe and Silverstream was grabbed and put in a cage and put in the back of a monster, "Got em' Scooper!" the twoleg yelled. Fireheart sighed slowly, "Here we go again…"

::One rescue later::

Fireheart, Graystripe, and Silverstream were standing around a burning monster with Smudge, Ravenpaw, Barley, and Princess. "Wow that was one fun adventure!" Fireheart stated. Graystripe and Silverstream were smiling in agreement, "Yeah I liked the part where Ravenpaw destroyed the monster with his bare paws!" Graystripe added. Fireheart turned around, "Thank god the Dallas Cowboys, who can speak cat, came and helped us at the last minute." Starting quarterback Tony Romo pointed his finger at the cats, "Just remember, if you ever need my help, just call me Smudge" Smudge nodded at Romo, "Yeah man catch'ya on the flipper bro!" Fireheart turned towards Graystripe and Silverstream, "Okay, Silverstream…we really need Graystripe to train his apprentice…" Silverstream began to burst out crying suddenly, Fireheart widened his eyes, "Oh geese… um…he can probably still see you every other day!" he tried bartering. Graystripe slapped Fireheart with his dick, "Fireheart! You need to calm down!" he yelled. Fireheart sighed, "I don't get it, why is training Brackenpaw for just an hour so difficult?" Fireheart asked. Graystripe rolled his eyes, "That's one less hour I get at smacking that ass…" he said looking at Silverstream. Silverstream giggled like a Japanese school girl. "I give up…this is unreal bullshit" Fireheart said walking away.

Later on Fireheart sat with Smudge and Princess at the twoleg place. "I just don't know what to do…" Fireheart said ashamed. Smudge nodded his head, "Yo should just come back and be a kittypet again! I could make you ma' captain in drug dealin' yo" Fireheart wondered about the offer, "I don't think so Smudge…" Princess contemplated on how she could help him, "I don't know much about being a warrior, but Graystripe looks pretty hot…" Fireheart grumbled at her, "I think he acts tough to compensate for something else…" Fireheart spat angrily. The three cats began to laugh, when suddenly Princess shot a white new born kitten out of her body out of nowhere. "Holy mother fucker!" Fireheart yelled freaked out. Princess looked down at the white newborn kit, "Huh…I was preggers…" Fireheart was looking at the little kitten in fear, "Wh- what the fuck…." he muttered shocked. Smudge nodded approvingly, "Good…got some new blood in this house then!" Princess licked the kitten, "Tastes kind of good…" she said hungry. Smudge licked his lips, "It does look kind of tasty…" Fireheart narrowed his eyes in disgust at the two, "You're going to eat your own kitten…" Fireheart muttered. Princess looked at the little white kitten, "Wait, I have a better idea…" she proposed. She held up the kitten looking at Fireheart, "Fireheart…I want you to take this kitten with you…" Fireheart looked at her shocked, "What?" Princess nodded, "Yes, take it and sell it to RiverClan for crack." Fireheart shook his head negatively, "That's a bad idea…" She looked down at the kitten, "I don't know, take it for yourself then…" Fireheart grabbed the white kitten. "Yes, that will work, take it back to your clan, train it to become powerful…" she said in a demonic voice. Fireheart nodded, "I guess I can try…" he muttered. "Train it in the ways of the warrior, one day this kitten will become more powerful than any living thing in this universe…and one day he will destroy this **damn** planet!" she said evilly. Fireheart's eyes were wide, trembling, he began to back away from Princess afraid of her. "Okay then I'll see you later!" he said in fear of her.

Fireheart returned to his campsite, carrying the white kitten, he was about to bring a kittypet into the clan, what would the initial response be from the other cats. Tigerclaw immediately caught sight of the kitten, "Oh…Hell….no…" he said angrily. Suddenly the entire clan began to surround Fireheart, he was about to get the shit beat out of him. All the she-cats of the clan grabbed him and began obsessing over him. "He is so cute!" Sandstorm yelled. "Such a cute critter!" Willowpelt screamed. Falconclaw sniffed the kitten, "He even has that new car smell!" Tigerclaw marched down the group of cats, "Oh what the fuck do we have here…" he said angrily. The white kitten looked at Tigerclaw happily, Tigerclaw clenched his teeth beginning to tremble, "I- I- er…" he looked down at the white kitten. "This is the cutest little fucker I ever saw…" he muttered. Bluestar ran over to the group immediately, "But the question is, Tom or She-cat?" she asked. Fireheart began to shake, Bluestar may not like having such a young addition to the clan.

Bluestar looked at the white kitten, immediately seeing a dick, she smiled deviously. "So how old is the little guy?" she asked. Fireheart grinned, "Just born a few minutes ago actually…" Bluestar grinned, "One moon old already?" she asked looking down at the kittens crotch. All the cats looked at Bluestar in fear, Fireheart sighed, "Why am I surprised…"

TO BE CONTINUED!


	16. Chapter 15

Bluestar stood alone surrounded by every cat in the forest, she was beaten, her fur ruffled; defeated. She stood in front of the four leaders of the forest, her role as ThunderClan leader stripped from her. The cat standing as leader of ThunderClan was a pitch black furred tom, his eyes not visible at all. Crookedstar looked down at the beaten Bluestar with a look of disappointment, two of the forests most powerful cats stepped forward Bluestar, putting their claws on her neck. "Bluestar of ThunderClan…" Crookedstar greeted calmly, Bluestar glanced up at the RiverClan leader, spitting blood out from her mouth. "You have been challenged, beaten, shamed, and stripped of your throne; you brought such fate upon yourself by committing various unethical crimes of the forest." Bluestar continued staring at him with a serious expression, "You've raped your kits, queens, deputies, warriors, elders, apprentices…demonstrated acts of Authoritarianism, disobeyed the Sexy Code, brought a kittypet into the clan, and killed several innocent foreign clan mates in cold blood!" he lectured. The crowd of cats around her began to shout and complain at her many wrongdoings. "You've not only affected the lives of your own, but you have brought destruction to our sacred realm, you have opened the gates of Hell upon us, and will be leaving this mess of a forest in our hands!" The cats all began complaining louder, not one cat in the forest was on Bluestar's side, even Fireheart was shouting at the defeated Bluestar. "With StarClan offering what mercy they have for you, let me ask you spawn of Satan…was it worth it? What say you demon of hypocrisy!? Speak!" Crookedstar demanded.

Bluestar chuckled at him, then looking around at all of the angry cats, "I see what's going on here…" Crookedstar narrowed his eyes intrigued that she was finding some humor from this, "You all want to have a thirty-way with me don't you?" All of the cats began to howl in anger, Crookedstar sighed; "Okay, kill her…" he ordered her executioners.

Bluestar woke up hyperventilating, she was inside of her den safely; "Thank StarClan…it was just a bad dream…"

Tigerclaw then woke up, revealing it all to be his dream; "Damn…that was a fucking good dream!"

=Chapter 15=

Fireheart was standing with the white newborn kit, who had been granted the name _Cloudkit_, he had brought into the clan the other day, he was nursing on Brindleface for milk. "Little Cloudkit has been feeding nonstop, this is going to be one fat-ass" she said laughing. Fireheart laughed at Cloudkit, "He can't help that he's such a fatty fat fat…" Yellowfang approached the two, looking down at Cloudkit. "You know what they say about fat cats…" Fireheart looked at Yellowfang surprised at her visit, "Diabetes" she simply answered. "Not cool Yellowfang…"

TO BE CONTINUED!

(Nope.)

"I think Bluestar has been making advances on him…" Yellowfang admitted. Fireheart widened his eyes disturbed at this, "He's a kit!" Yellowfang let out a laugh, "-with your blood…" Fireheart nodded understanding now, it was then that Bluestar herself walked in the den. "Hey Yellowfang, Fireheart…" she looked down at Cloudkit puckering her mouth, "Hi-I Cloudki-it!" Fireheart's eye began to twitch upon seeing Bluestar trying to make a move on the unintelligible kit. "Can I help you Bluestar?" Fireheart asked defending Cloudkit. "Yes, Tigerclaw is sick, and I want you to take care of him today…" Fireheart began to tremble in fear, his eyes widened in shock, "Are you joking?" Bluestar shook her head, "Tigerclaw is too sick to have sex with…or to get up…he could really use a friend Fireheart." Fireheart jolted up straight angrily, "We're not friends! He killed Re-" Bluestar stared into his eyes knowing what he was going to say, "He killed…rebbits…" Bluestar and Yellowfang looked at each other confused, "Rebbits?" Fireheart nodded constantly, "Rebbits…rabbits…he kills a lot, he's good at it!" Bluestar narrowed her eyes at him suspiciously, "Go take care of Tigerclaw…I command you!" she ordered. Fireheart grunted surprised at the request, it was time to take care of Tigerclaw.

Tigerclaw laid on the ground in his den, "Cough cough…fucking sneeze and whatnot…" Fireheart slowly entered his den, approaching the sickly Tigerclaw. "I might have a plugged nose…but I can still smell queer kittypets!" he yelled turning his head towards Fireheart. Fireheart rolled his eyes, "I'm suppose to cater to you while you're sick…" Tigerclaw spat on the ground, "Fucking great! That's the last thing I wanted…a fucking kittypet slave…" Tigerclaw looked at him angrily, as if he wanted to kill him, "But I guess I can make use of you while you're fucking here…" Fireheart dipped his head honorably, "What will you have me do?" Tigerclaw licked his lips thinking of the most cruel things he could make Fireheart do, he clearly had no actual needs of Fireheart's assistance. "Tell me a fucking story!" he demanded. Fireheart chuckled silently, "A story?" Tigerclaw growled at him, "-and it better be fucking good…" Fireheart sighed thinking of something to tell him. "Okay…once upon a time…"

::Fireheart's Story::

A brave Fireheart and Tigerclaw stood next to each other side by side, becoming surrounded with blood thirsty badgers and raccoons, "We can do this Fireheart!" Tigerclaw shouted with great morale. "You're right Tigerclaw!" Fireheart yelled inspired to keep fighting. "If we can bag of all this prey, we'll never be without fresh kill to eat!" Tigerclaw shouted. Fireheart and Tigerclaw leaped easily taking out every animal they could see, the prey of the forest were no match for them.

"Stop, stop, stop! Fucking terrible!" Tigerclaw yelled at Fireheart disapproving of his story. "What's wrong with it?" Tigerclaw shook his head negatively at him, "It's unrealistic as shit…let me tell you how it's done…"

::Tigerclaw's Story::

The forest was burning, the sky was black and red, several cats of the forest lay dead in battle. Tigerclaw stood above several bodies victoriously looking down at the endless amount of warfare between cats. "Pathetic fools…" he muttered as RiverClan and WindClan waged war with each other. Fireheart and Graystripe walked up to Tigerclaw, "Glorious Kaiser of ThunderClan…Bluestar has fallen, what are your orders?" Fireheart asked bowing down with Graystripe. Tigerclaw laughed victoriously at the two, "Queers, fuck each other for my enjoyment…" Fireheart and Graystripe looked at each other erotically, both cats looking at each other nervously, "I guess it was an order…" Fireheart said smiling with his eyes narrowed at Graystripe. Graystripe gasped, before smiling; "Thank Tigerclaw…the only true God…" the two then mounted eacho-

"Oh God this is a terrible story!" Fireheart said not wanting to hear more. Tigerclaw snarled at him angrily, "Fuck you! I have a more powerful dick than you!" Fireheart shook his head confused at the random insult, "Yeah…okay Tigerclaw." Tigerclaw sat up looking at Fireheart angrily, "You're destroying our clan you realize…now there are two fucking kittypets in the clan!" Fireheart shook his head in disagreement, "You're funny Tigerclaw…" Tigerclaw began to growl in anger, "Go get me some fucking prey to fuck…" Fireheart stomped his paw down angrily, "I thought you were too sick to have sex!" Tigerclaw narrowed his eyes in disgust, "Of course you would think about that you queer…you know what, just go…I'm pretty fucking sick of your shit right now." Fireheart smiled happily, "Really? I can go?" Tigerclaw nodded, "Get the fuck out…" Fireheart did not hesitate to escape from the den, wanting to escape Tigerclaw desperately.

Fireheart walked back to the leaders den to declare his mission over, but he did not see Bluestar anywhere. _Oh boy…_ he thought knowing she was up to something. He immediately assumed that she was still near Yellowfang and Brindleface, but was surprised to see that Brindleface was up walking around camp for once. Fireheart widened his eyes wondering where Cloudkit was if he wasn't nursing on her. Fireheart ran quickly back to the area Cloudkit was at last time, fearing that he could have gotten lost in camp or was eaten by a cat like Tigerclaw. He ran back into the den and was happy to see Cloudkit still nursing, he realized however…that it wasn't Brindleface he was nursing on. "Bluestar!" Fireheart yelled shocked. Bluestar looked up at him, "I presume Tigerclaw didn't want your help then?" Fireheart shook his head negatively, "Cloudkit's been sucking me for a while now, he's a hungry little guy…" Fireheart twitched disturbed at what he was seeing, he didn't feel that he could intervene this time however.

Cloudkit backed away from Bluestar, curling up in a ball trying to sleep. Bluestar narrowed her eyes angrily at Cloudkit, "Did I say you could stop?" she asked hostilely.


	17. Chapter 16

Fireheart awoke to the sound of loud chattering, once again there were several cats surrounding an area of the camp. "O-oh boy…" he groaned as he looked at the crowd of cats. Fireheart rushed into the crowd of cats, revealing a fluffy brown tom standing in front of an angry Tigerclaw and Bluestar. "So just who the fuck are you?" Tigerclaw demanded. The brown cat stood happily looking at Tigerclaw, "I'm Ujurak, a shape-shifter…" Tigerclaw and Bluestar slowly looked at each other in confusion. Tigerclaw darted his head back at the strange cat, "What the fuck is a shape-shifter?" The brown cat jolted up straight, "Oh-well I'm a bear who can transform into different animals." Tigerclaw and Bluestar looked at each other suspiciously, assuming the cat was crazy. Bluestar looked back at him momentarily, "Are you okay in the head hun'?" The brown cat nodded affirmatively, "Yeah, me and my friends have been traveling in hopes to escape humans." Tigerclaw spat on the ground while laughing, "You're no fucking bear…" The cats all began to laugh at the crazy _seeker_ for attention. "Yes I am!" the cat suddenly transformed into a huge grizzly bear.

The cats all stared at the grizzly bear, then began panicking and running around camp. "Holy fucking shit!" Tigerclaw yelled as he ran away from the bear. Ujurak suddenly went on a rampage and began eating everyone, foam going out of the insane animals mouth.

(If you haven't figured it out by _now_, none of the preceding is meant to be taken literally.)

=Chapter 16=

Fireheart was at the Twoleg's place again, wanting to see Princess. Instead he met up with Smudge who had a proposition for him. Fireheart was down in the basement of the house, he hadn't been down in this area since he was a kittypet. Smudge was standing still looking at Fireheart, licking his lips.

"Let's cut to the chase Rusty bro…" Fireheart looked at him intrigued, assuming that whatever this proposition was had something to do with drug dealing. "I was thinking' you'n'me would go and meet up with a client of mine, nice guy, wants some cat nip, and I'm sellin yo." Fireheart thought about the offer carefully, wondering what he would get out of it. "Why do you need me to help?" Smudge leaped up onto his paws, "Be-eca-ause man! It's in a dangerous part of the forest man, lotta' scum and rogues out there!" Fireheart nodded his head, feeling somewhat excited at the thought of getting into a fight. "Come on man, don't bail on me Rusty bro this is a big opportunity fo' me!" Fireheart sighed at him, "You're as persistent as Mauser-but I guess this could be good practice for me if something goes wrong."

Fireheart and Smudge walked together through the forest, Fireheart was holding the catnip for him. They were entering a dark part of the forest, trees completely covered the sky, giving a very gloomy look. Smudge looked at Fireheart with a blank expression, "So you got a bitch yet?" he asked. "You mean a she-cat?" an offended Fireheart asked. "That's what I said Rusty bro, a bitch." Fireheart shook his head negatively, "No, I don't have a mate yet." Fireheart was disturbed to see that there were cats all over the part of the forest, he never heard about this area before, however the cats didn't appear hostile. Fireheart and Smudge quickly pranced past all of the cats, but Fireheart was grabbed by a hungry looking she-cat. "I'll suck your cock for some catnip…" Fireheart realized that it was a hooker. "No thank you! I like my package being dry!" Fireheart panicked. Smudge hit Fireheart's head, "Rusty bro try and stay away from those hoes, them pimps aint' gonna play well if ya' can't pay them up after fuckin' their hos."

The two cats continued down the unusually dark forest, it was clear to Fireheart that this was some kind of area for pimping and dealing. There was a bunch of bushes up ahead with cats standing around somewhat hidden, they all appeared somewhat overweight. Smudge walked over to the group of fat cats, Fireheart following him closely. "Yo yo you what's up ma playas'?" Smudge greeted. One of the fat cats rolled on its belly while looking at Smudge and Fireheart, "Smudge, you better have the goods this time, you still haven't paid up for the hos you fucked." Smudge nodded quickly, "Yeah I got the shit and more…" Smudge whipped his tail at Fireheart signaling for him to drop the catnip, Fireheart hesitantly dropped the powerful catnip on the ground for the fat cats. The main fat cat puckered his lips as he looked at the catnip, he had a look of discontent on his face, "You jacking me bro?" he asked hostilely to Smudge. Smudge stomped his foot down, "No! This is the best shit you'll find in this forest-I have connections from other forests and even they wanted to get their hands on this shit." The fat cat stomped his paw down, "This may be good shit, but there is barely enough shit to go around!" Fireheart narrowed his eyes disturbed, _Their usage of the word 'shit' is starting to get really weird sounding…_ Smudge shook his head negatively, "It's enough, if ya' don't think it's enough, then _you're_ the one who's jackin' _me_!" Smudge countered. The fat cat finally narrowed his eyes angrily, "I see…well it looks like I'm gonna have to take you and your friend out back then…" Fireheart shook his head in disbelief, "What did I do!?" The fat cat disregarded Fireheart's complaint and continued looking at Smudge. "I hope you didn't actually plan on leaving without paying me fully…" the fat cat said as several rouges began surrounding them with boners. Fireheart and Smudge both grunted as they were quickly becoming surrounded, they were going to get their asses handled. "What do we do Smudge?" Fireheart asked nervously. Smudge dipped his head down nervously, "Help us Cowboys quarterback Tony Romo…"

Tony Romo was trying to find someone to throw the ball to, it was third down. _Help us Cowboys quarterback Tony Romo…_ the voice rang in Romo's head, "S- Smudge?" he asked aloud, suddenly getting sacked as he was distracted.

Smudge shook his head negatively, "He's not coming is he…" Fireheart got in a combat stance at the amount of drug dealing cats with large dicks, that was when he noticed something. Graystripe was amongst the cats with boners approaching him. "Wha- Hey what the fuck is this!?" Fireheart demanded. Graystripe puckered his lips, who was with Silverstream, "No offense Fireheart, but it's a great place to get stoned, I won't actually rape you though," he explained. _Where the Hell is your clan loyalty!?_ Fireheart thought in amazement. Smudge leapt back behind the fat cat, putting his paws on his back, "Stop-Or the fat cat gets it!" he warned. The group of rouges gasped, the fat cat was defenseless. Fireheart turned towards the fat cat as well, "Fat cat, this is your last chance, free us-or die…" he warned. The fat cat began to hum, fearing for his own life somewhat, "I'm prepared to make a deal…" Smudge looked down at him intrigued, "I'll let you go this time, but if you don't get me the shit in three moons-the debt goes up."

The cats all retracted their dicks at the sound of this offer, knowing that Smudge would accept. Fireheart exhaled in relief at the sight of all the dicks going limp within seconds. "No deal!" Smudge said proudly. The dicks all began to turn powerful again, prepared to rape them, "Smudge, shut up!" Fireheart spat angrily. "How about five moons then…" Smudge now began to hum, considering the offer more carefully, "Yeah, sure-I guess that'll work bro…" he said agreeing. The dicks all went limp immediately again-Fireheart's eye was twitching at this. "Th- this isn't how the body works…" he muttered in disbelief. Smudge stepped back from the fat cat momentarily, "Five moons to get me the shit." Smudge nodded, "You're full of shit-this nip is worth more than you can imagine, but I'll satisfy you this time…" Smudge said hostilely. Fireheart shook his head negatively, "Well there's obviously nothing in this for me…" he said walking past all the rogues. Fireheart then foolishly fell over, landing right on top of Silverstream in an awkward position. Silverstream immediately puckered her lips somewhat turned on, Fireheart was immediately disturbed at the sight of Silverstream underneath him. "Oh StarClan! I'm sorry!" he said getting off her quickly. Silverstream stood up with an erotic look, "No, it was fine…" she said looking into his eyes. "Hey!" Graystripe shouted angrily. Fireheart widened his eyes and turned around, revealing an overly pissed Graystripe. "What the Hell! Were you trying to bang my hot shy barely legal girlfriend!?" Fireheart immediately began shaking his head negatively, "No!" "Yes," both Fireheart and Silverstream answered differently, Fireheart looked back at Silverstream furiously. "Uh…I mean, no he wasn't…" she corrected. Graystripe was angrily growling at Fireheart, finding his actions fairly provocative. "Silverstream is my mate-not yours Fireheart!" he yelled angrily. Fireheart shook his head constantly in agreement, "I agree! I don't want to bang Silverstream!" he pleaded to Graystripe. "Bullshit!" Graystripe countered angrily. Fireheart continued to look him in the eyes, "I wouldn't go as far as touching her…" Graystripe slowly approached him, "But you did…and now I need to teach you a lesson…" he said with his dick slowly emerging. Fireheart's eyes were quivering at the sight of his cock, _He's going to try and rape me…my own friend!?_ Fireheart thought panicking. Fireheart stood his ground, but wasn't sure if it was right to do this, Fireheart just didn't feel that he could harden up to engage Graystripe-it was treason.

Fireheart decided to retreat from the area instead, leaving Graystripe behind with Silverstream. Fireheart felt hurt that his only friend was prepared to rape him over such a strange event, so he decided that it would be best to just return to camp.

"So he tried to rape you!?" a surprised Sandstorm asked. Fireheart narrowed his eyes in confusion, "S- Sandstorm, I haven't even spoken yet…" Sandstorm nodded her head, "Ah, proceed then…" Fireheart cleared his throat preparing to explain what happened, "Eh, yeah-Graystripe tried to rape me is basically the entire story-and you ruined it with your accurate guess." Sandstorm dipped her head, "Sorry Fireheart…" Fireheart sighed at the thought of Graystripe, "I can't believe that happened, but I can't tell you why Graystripe got mad until _Warriors: Forest of Dirty Secrets_, which will be the finale to this parody series…"he said breaking the fourth wall. It was then that Bluestar walked in behind Fireheart and Sandstorm-she was high as shit. "Uh oh, this won't be good…" Fireheart muttered at the sight of her pinkish eyes. Bluestar's mouth was quivering, "Fireheart…I regret to inform you that…" Fireheart widened his eyes, "Cloudkit's B-17 Bomber was shot down over Iwo Jima-his plane busted into flames upon impact, there were no survivors…" she said dipping her head down. Fireheart shook his head hearing this nonsense, "Bluestar, I'm going to bring you back to your den…" he said walking near her. "Okay…I should probably get this nice catnip out of my body-and maybe something else _in_ my body…" Bluestar said beginning to pucker at Fireheart. Fireheart immediately stepped away from her, "On second thought-I have somewhere I need to be!" he said running out of the den.

Sandstorm and Bluestar remained in the den, Sandstorm standing still nervously at the sight of Bluestar alone with her. Bluestar looked back at Sandstorm somewhat erotically, "Sandstorm, you ever heard of _Two Girls, One Cup?_" Sandstorm immediately glared at her, "Oh my God…" she muttered fearfully.


End file.
